The Road to Skyrim
by gamerboss007
Summary: Everyone knows the story of how the dragon born of the 4th era came to Skyrim and defeated the dragons, but few know of where she came from. Follows female khajiit Dragon born in her retelling of her upbringing as she grows up and the events leading her to Skyrim. Starts off a little slow. Read it, don't read it, print it out, tear it up, burn it, whatever.
1. Years in the palm (Chapter 1)

-Sun's Dawn, 4th, 4E 202-

**_M_**y name is Zeicuana (zai - coo - ana) I am a Cathay Khajiit woman, born in elsweyr, spent most of my childhood in High Rock, am twenty-two years of age, and am Dragon Born.

I have been told by my good friends and traveling companions, that I have accomplished quite a bit and will be remembered long after my bones have turned to dust, the first being true, the second is to be seen.

As I think to myself, if the second is true and there is no written records of exactly what I have accomplished, I fear that my ''exploits'' may be embellished and dissolute in future generations, which is why I have decided to begin keeping this journal, and hopefully future historians won't be scratching their heads trying to pick apart truth from legend.

I will try to be as humble as I possibly can for what I have done, and would like to reinforce that not all of what I have done has been accomplished solely by myself, because such feats would not have been possible without the help of countless individuals whom I will do my best to name as many as possible. Some being good companions, guards, and sometimes passer byes who happened to be near me at the right place, at the right (or arguably wrong) time.

I suppose I should give a more detailed account of my upbringing as historians are always interested in these sorts of things. I believe that the ''here and now'' is what is important but I digress.

My entire family is dead, killed by mostly the thalmor but most of this was before my time.

To really explain the bad blood that is between, or, was between my family and the thalmor I have to go all the way back to my great grandparents. My great grandda was named Ehi'bano born Ohmes in 4E 82 and my grandma Meh'zana was born 4E 85 a Surthay-raht. In 4E 98 the Void Nights took place, a period of time when the moons disappeared, Khajiit worship the moons so you can imagine this didn't go over very well. My great grandmother and father were employed under the Elswyr Confederacy and were two of the many tasked with investigating the disappearance, this is also where they first met. I don't know what they did, I don't know what they discovered but, in 4E 100 the moons reappeared and the Aldmeri Dominion took responsibility and Elswyr rejoiced, but my grandmother and father continued to investigate the disappearances of the moons and the Dominions role in bringing them back on their own accord.

But, in 4E 115 a coup against the Empire allianced government by Aldmeri Sympathizer's took place and the Elswyer Confederacy collapsed and was replaced by two kingdoms which were and are extension's of the Aldmeri Dominion. This is also the year that my grandfather Gre'hzano was born Cathay while his brother Sb'anian was born two years later a tojay.

Sometime in 4E 128 in the middle of the night my great grandparents were taken in the middle of the night by thalmor judiciars and never seen again. My Grandfather and his brother evaded capture by hiding under the house, after they left and some time had passed, they fled to an old family friends house where they spent the rest of their childhood and swore vengeance against the thalmor. Gre'hzano joined the Imperial Legion as soon as he was old enough while Sb'anian joined the blades and went to Valenwood.

In 4E 145 my grandfather met my grandmother Siirina an Ohmes-raht while on leave from the army and in 147 my father, Shash'ano was born an Ohmes-raht, his brother Ler'ano was born a Cathay-raht the next year. My Father joined the Legion when he came of age, his brother also joined the Legion.

In 4E 169 my brother Gre'hano was born an Ohmes-raht, and in 4E 171, the Great war started, my grandas brother, Sb'anian was killed by the thalmor and my father, grandfather, and uncle went off to fight, but kept in touch and sent letters home which we would reply to, they could never really say anything about the war, but my father and my brother would make up for lost time as much as they could through them. My uncle Ler'ano was killed in battle defending the city of Skaven in Hammerfell in 173, my grandfather, Grazano was killed helping defend the imperial city in 174, my Grandfathers brother, Sbanian a member of the blades, was killed right at the beginning of the war. My Father returned home in 4E 174 honorably discharged for substantial injuries in battle. He had his left hand cleaved off by an Aldmeri soldier in battle and was struck by an aldmeri mage's lightning bolt through the right thigh.

When he returned this is when he and my mother Cis'halo, well, you know. But after his leg had recovered, he went off again to join back up with his company. My brother told me that my mother begged him not to go, but he said that that us and Nirn will never be safe until the Dominion and thalmor are stopped. She persisted with how he had no left paw, and he replied ''I will strap a shield to my left arm and fight with my right. If they chop my arm's off I'll strap a danmed axe to my head'' He went back off to join back up with the legion and was killed in battle retaking the imperial City. You may be wondering, how I can be twenty two if my mother was pregnant in 175 and the year being 202? Well, I wasn't born in 175 or 176, I was born in 4E 179.

After the war ended, my mother was devastated from my father's death, it was even tougher for my brother, being the only cub in town without one to call father, my mother showed signs of being pregnant with me, a Breton man named Evictous Flaninton who recently moved to the village, comforted my mother in those tough times, and was a good friend for my brother, my brother always said no one could ever replace our father, but it's good to have Evictous there.

After five months I stopped moving in the womb, after some time it came clear to everyone that I was dead, but my poor mother denied this. Evictous comforted my mother and brother every chance he had, telling my brother to just let my mother take her time. If Evictous hadn't been I can't imagine what could have happened since the family was looked down upon in the village for having family members who fought with the legion.

But after three years of laying dormant in the womb, my mother later told me she had an intense dream of a snow kissed woodlands, she was walking along a stone road, it wasn't her but another khajiit women but she couldn't recognize who. A large black shadowy monster came thundering out of the forest going straight for the woman, but instead of running the woman unsheathed a weapon and charged the mass, she woke up as the woman jumped and brought her weapon crashing down upon the beasts head. She said it was the most intense dream she ever experienced, everyone else believed it was a product of trying to cope with her extreme misery. But she meditated for a week trying to understand the meaning of the dream, and on the eighth morning after the dream when she sat cross legged on the warm sands under the rising sun with her eyes closed in deep meditation, she felt an extremely strong kick from me, so strong her whole body jolted from the force and her eyes snapped open with an ''oof!''

After a month I was born, everyone in the family was shocked as village was too, even though I was only growing in the womb for a total of around 6 months, the village shaman told my mother I looked like a late born cub, and the strongest one he had ever seen at that.

This was I think how I became dragon born I believe though I can't be sure when, I don't know if I was dragon born when my mother was first impregnated, or if it came before or after those years of being still, am I the original soul of the the khajiit woman I am? I know that you don't have to be khajiit in order to be dragon born, if I wasn't dragon born and someone else was, say a long blond haired nord, would I be me or would I be the nord? I sometimes imagine what it would be like to be another race and be me, but a different me, how much would I be different, I imagine there are thousands, maybe even millions of reality's where I am another race, with different state of mind or different views. I have the soul of a Dragon, so I suppose inside I am just a Dragon in khajiit form, and when I think and say this I can't really describe but it feels right. Similar to how it's hard to describe the smell of certain things to people who aren't khajiit I suppose.

Of course this is what I felt to some level growing up, not that I was a dragon mind you, but that I was something more, but hesitant to explore this idea, I thought maybe I was dragon born in khajiit form between when I slayed my first, and when the Greybeards confirmed my suspicion but I am getting ahead of myself.

I have few a few memories of my early childhood, there were of course celebrations I remember in the village, the town bazaar would be decorated. There would be little traditional rituals done involving the moons but it has been so long I can't remember any details. I remember though the thalmor justicars. I didn't think anything of it at the time, Just guards making sure no crimes were committed. But I remember there were already guards. The justicars were different, they were not local, never advertised their presence, just usually sat alone quietly by themselves in the back of a room or leaning against a wall in the alley behind the bazaar, just listening.

I had a good life socially among the other villagers until around the age of six or seven. Up to that point I had many good hearted friends, we'd play games and so forth. Things little ones do together. But I suppose around that time my fellow younglings began to hear the words of their parents and of where I came from. Forbidding them from playing with me or saying how I was not to be trusted as my family were traitors. I became isolated and was seldom able to hold pleasant conversations with my former friends.

One day I went and asked my grandmother Siirana for help, teary eyed, as my mother would not explain why I was hated. She sat me down in her hut and told me of our family's past as I know it now today. She also told me to keep my mouth shut and the dangers of not doing so. She then made me some treats and we had them together, and stressed not telling anyone of what she told me. I suppose I was a little hesitant of believing what she had told me of the thalmor, but that would change.

I remember my Grandmothers sugar cane farm. She lived a little south of the village and lived alone. I would visit her when out on my hikes. She would make sweets and give me them to bring home. I never once heard her raise her voice in anger, she would of course give me a good talking if I did something bad but that rarely happened. She was proud of me, she didn't need to say it she would tell me how someone shouldn't be praised for something that was expected, but just the same we would sit together sometimes. I would be on my way out and she would ask me to sit with her awhile, so we'd sit together, not saying anything, but that unspoken sense of kindness as we sat and admired the day was one of my most fond memories of my life in the village she was quite a laugh at times as well.

As I digress, I lived for nine years in the village, until 4E 188 when my brother was arrested, he had been with a trusted friend when he told him that he would soon go off to join the Legion, someone had overheard this and word spread. And a week later he was grabbed.

He was falsely charged with the murder of an Aldmeri soldier who was mysteriously killed two nights before, there was no evidence of my brother committing the murder, ''but this man was planning on running off and joining the force its nation had fought against, he was capable of anything.'' My brother was no weakling or baby, but he had a pure heart. He was in fact softer spoken than me at times. He would never commit murder, he was planning on joining the Legion not to be a soldier but to be a healer on the battlefield if a war started.

He was found guilty at the hearing, my mother and grandmother, who had moved in with us a few years back from working sugar cane in her progressing age, wept. Even Evictous could not hold back grief, he covered his eyes and turned red, I felt like a strong house on a small island in a huge storm, it's walls slammed on all sides with waves, I locked my teeth as I felt as if a stone was lodged in my throat as the ruling came, blood was shooting through my body and I felt as if I could pull a tree right out of the ground, we were not allowed to visit him before his execution.

I was forbidden by my family to see it, though I could hear the crowds that had gathered for it from our home, a low rambling, then jeers and shouting as I imagined they took him out into sight, then rising in volume as it progressed, I couldn't help but listen closely and imagine, the rambling turned quieter except for distinct shout outs of individual insults I couldn't make out. Then ranting and shouting which was followed by a sharp turn from angry shouts and snarls to hoorays and hurrahs. I felt as if my insides were being twisted. I whimpered in my room all night until Evictous came in and embraced me rocking me back and forth slowly as I let out my full misery deep into his shoulder. ''Let it all out, it'll be alright,'' he said and finally after what felt like an eternity I cried myself out and went out like a candle in the wind.

The next day I oddly felt fine, strong even, everyone else sat around the house in a reanimated corpse like state of sorrow but I felt taller.

A month went by and things had begun to go back to normal though a grey cloud still hung over my mother. The other villagers would seldom even look in any of our direction but this strangely made no impact on me. I suppose since this was my first encounter of death and also loosing someone you care about I should have felt worse, but after my brother's death I had that first night after to grip it, but then and now have a full grasp on emotions and am never in any state low mood other than sorrowful reflection. Certainly proved a useful trait the day I found my family slain.

It was a year after Gre'hanos execution some of the villagers decided they had enough of our views on government and took matters into their own hands, I'm surprised they didn't decide to do it after the great war. I was on a camping trip alone when they took my grandmother, mother, and Evictous from the house and lit it ablaze, I had been taught how to camp by Evictious when I was maybe five, it was one of our bonding times, Gre'hano would come along but wasn't as interested as me, I would watch intently as he would teach me the different knots and how to tell which direction was north from the stars and so forth, he had been a traveling merchant before settling down in Elswyer and coming to my mother to help raise me and Gre'hano.

I was proficient enough at living in the wilderness by the time I was eight, us khajiit are more tuned at this naturally regardless but I was extremely proficient at it, so my family allowed me to go on trips unsupervised, as long as our village was not beyond the horizon. This is of course when I would also visit my grandmother when she didn't live with us. I even took the time to read books about wildlife in other parts or tamriel.

It was late afternoon almost twilight when I saw smoke rising from the location of our house, I immediately realized what had happened, we had received the occasional insult or low balled threat after my brothers execution but nothing solid.

Evictous would often raise his concerns about remaining in the village even before Gre'hano's execution, but my mother would always say that our ancestors have lived in elswyer forever, she would appreciate Evictouses concerns but say that things would eventually get better. I suppose she was proven the fool in the end.

I didn't even take time to collect my things from my campsite, I turned, saw the smoke on the horizon and instantly lept to the ground from my tree and started running.

When I was on these trips sometimes I would camp in the Bosmer fashion like how Evictous had taught me the way he used to camp when he was a caravaneer, and switch to just natural khajiit tree climbing, eating fruits and nuts, catching prey, or a little of both, comparing and contrasting the two.

I can still remember the glow of the flaming house in which we lived, I ran all the way home, the sun had gone down and when I could see my house it illuminated the landscape of sand all around it, like a huge lantern, the night was pitch black that night, neither moons nor stars.

I lost everything in that fire, any belongings I had, my brothers letters to and from our father from during the war being really the only true material loss of value. Though they are not truly lost for they are etched in my mind, the only connection to my father, some afternoons I would just pour myself over them, memorizing every word, how my father's handwriting was slightly tilted to the right like a wind blew on the letters and they bended to its will, his thoughts and love for my brother and mother. Daydreaming into the night of what he would think of me.

I scoured the desert all night for my family, our house blazing and disintegrating in the distance, I was not scared or horrified or anything of the like which surprised myself considering the situation I was in, I considered, between calling out their names.

I found them at first light, their lifeless bodies dragged into a shallow ditch, their heads gutted out from the face and filled with stones. Bits of skull, blood and brain everywhere.

So there I stood over them my mother, grandmother, and Evictous as the first beams of light shot across the dunes. I could hear the land coming to life in the air around me. Birds chirping like they would always do, the flowers in the plantlife seemed so bright and vibrant that morning, The wilderness going on about it's buisness completely ignorant of the blood that had been spilled.

I wasn't sad, but reflecting. Part of me had known this would be their fate and I suppose I fully accepted it. I don't know why, it felt like an UN-authentic emotion but I felt nothing else. I imagined myself laying there with them there. It was a sudden thought but I couldn't shake the image from my head. My small fraimed bloodied body broken and twisted and snaped and laid in a heap. The realization that regular desert dwellers were willing to do something so cruel to another just because they are evil.

I knew exactly what my next steps would be, when Evictious would talk about moving, he would always mention his sister in Daggerfall, he kept in touch with her and they wrote to each other often, just mail between each other would take a very long time to reach each other understandably. The woman's name was Veruna. Evictous described her as being bosmer like himself. Fair fraimed, light brunette hair, who ran a mill in the wilderness outside Daggerfall some. Was a trained bard and would occasionally play at the local inn.

I was hoping to find a single woman, with a very general description which most of the population fell under, in a largely populated area on the other side of the continent, I thought to myself.

The villagers left them in a shallow grave so that the sands would bury them, I took note of the grave's position in correlation to the smoldering remains of our house in case I ever return. I decided not to move them in fear that the villagers would return and see they were moved by no one else other than me, realize they had missed one, and come after me trying to make me share their fate.

I then started walking back to my camp to collect my supplies, I would certainly need it.


	2. Orphan on the hog (Chapter 2)

_** I**_ collected my things from my camp, and began heading north. It was three moon cycles travel until I reached the city of Orcrest, the streets bustled with commerce and trade. large auctions were held all over the city. This is where I first encountered skooma, the back streets were lined with hopelessly addicted khajiit with madness in their eyes. I came to a merchant and traded some animal pelts I had hunted along the way, for a map of tamriel, its markings indicated it was published by the Imperial Library.

That night I made the foolish decision of exploring the city, I was aware of the dangers but my curiosity was strong, I had never seen a city before, the largest town I had seen up to that point was a neighboring town to our west with maybe three dozen people. I didn't want to stray too close to the city's dominion guards on fear of being recognized, while I was walking the streets I was attacked by an addict, I heard running feet down the empty street behind me, as I spun around I was knocked to the ground, the addict pulling and yanking at my backpack I slipped off the strap for my right shoulder and swung at her, connecting with her muzzle making two long deep scratches across her face, she stepped back as I popped to my feet, I took another swing this time with my left, she grabbed my wrist and twisted it out, I grabbed the back of her head and fed her my knee. she took advantage of her positioning and shoved her shoulder into my chest and knocked me on my ass again, grabbing my left backpack strap and slipped it off running down the street in the direction I was walking. I bolted after her practically straight out of my position on the ground.

She knew the streets well, taking sharp turns down back alleys, the moonlight lighting the breaks in between buildings. She knocked over empty boxes and other assorted things to slow me which I vaulted over, she did this three times and on the third, my foot caught and I landed flat on my face on the stone path at full speed, I ignored the pain and got on my feet, but the thief had gained some distance and after a few more turns, lost me. I didn't give up and for maybe an hour but felt more like five minutes, as I finally slowed my now jog and bended over putting my hands on my knees, panting, I took an observation of the square now surrounding me, I was in the slums of the city, where all the addicts presided. The houses were run down and shadowed masses lay against buildings twitching, I shouted out ''Coward!'' hoping the addict was within ear shot and retraced my steps back to the market, some things had fallen out of my backpack in the pursuit and where sewn along the path here and there, I recovered what I could, but as the minutes passed, I went from finding plenty of things, to finding nothing at all, more vultures must had come and collected them.

I left the city at dawn the next morning, I had luckily recovered my map, finger cymbals, and Evictiouses dagger among other things from the path and headed for a city called skingrad in the central province, took about two moon cycles of long hiking until I came upon grassy landscape and then trees, then forest. I traveled along the path slowly, intently mesmerized to the foreign sounds of the forest, and thinking of different things I had learned from my books of plant and wildlife in Cyrodiil, spotted a few plants and flowers I recognized from description, knowing what berries and plants to eat and what not to eat proved useful. I had lost all my rope to the thief so I couldn't set up traps for animals, but this only gave me more time to travel.

One night while drifting off to sleep on a limb high in an Elm, I smelled something I had never smelled before, it smelled evil. I observed the forest floor below me and saw a dark elf man below me scanning the forest and smelling the air like a dog. It's a good thing I did not know how to identify a vampire at the time, if I had, my shock may have alerted him to my presence right above him. I was as quiet as a grave barely breathing, watching him as he slowly progressed away through the forest. I slept with one eye open knowing I would need to be well rested in the morning to be able to be sharp and travel quickly, even though I didn't know he was a vampire I knew he obviously wasn't good.

The next day after only an hour of brisk hiking I reached the city of skingrad. The city was like nothing I had seen before being of different culture and all. A statue was the first thing you see when you walk in. The different architecture mezmorized me as I traveled the city, one part of the city being home to upper class and the other half being home to peasants, another culture shocker as I considered as there were no visible skooma addicts, although I only had my experience in Orcrest to contrast it to. I had to watch myself as well. If it was discovered my family was dead and I was all alone at any point of my journey I would most likely be shoved into a crowded orphanage for the rest of my upbringing, or worse.

I studied my map closely, looking at Skingrad and at Daggerfall and tried to figure out what route to take to get there, or even what routes there even were. The map showed all the major cities of Tamriel but only showed very basic information and lacked showing roads. I looked around the city road I was standing in, houses on either side of me. I came to the conclusion that I would need the help of others to reach daggerfall, but to also not reveal that I was alone.

I walked into an inn and took a seat at the bar, the imperial woman gave a puzzled expression looking at me. I casually asked her the best route to daggerfall, ''Daggerfall? you traveling there? where are your parents?'' she asked, ''They are staying in a friend's house, my father is a Breton merchant and my mother, my real mother, khajiit.'' I said. The woman chuckled, ''well I can clearly see that, I don't know much of daggerfall other than it's in high rock, someone at the market may be able to help you but you should head back to your parents friends house and have someone you know accompany you'' the woman said. A thick necked nord warrior sitting next to me at the bar chimed in, ''I'd recommend traveling to Rihad in hammerfell across teh border and take a boat straight to daggerfall, be da fastest way there, but If ya be merchants, you'd probably want to travel north through Chorrol, wayrest and yadayadayada'' the nord trailed off on his yada's. ''Thank you'' I said as I hoped off the stool and headed out the door.

I headed to the market and acted like a curious little girl, to ask merchants where they were traveling, I had made brief talk to a guard and told her of the dark elf I encountered, whom he immediately told me was most likely a vampire and to be careful and stick close to my parents. I left him before he could come to question where my parents were and so forth, for the afternoon I studied the merchants with seeming intrigue and asked them where they were heading when they grinned at my curiousness. One was heading to Rihad but I decided to travel the long way. I'm traveling through tamriel I thought, might as well take advantage of exploring while the opportunity was available, hadn't the money for passage all the way to daggerfall anyway. I finally came upon a Cyrodillian caravaneer who was traveling to chorrol on his normal yearly rounds, and said he was to leave the next day. I left him but observed him from a far distance the rest of the day till I saw that he retired to the same inn I had stopped in. I slept in a hay bale beside the inn, I awoke instinctively at first light, I crept up to a window and peered inside. The merchant was conversing with now a man behind the counter and then departed after a few moments. I followed his shadow out of the still awakening city. I stayed a good distance behind him and his caravan on the road, always just beyond a long curve in the road or so forth to remain undetected. He was traveling with a horse towing a cart, a nord woman, breton woman and a tough looking orc, I was completely captured by their figures, even though I could only see their backs from far away, the only people in my old village were Khajiit, maybe one or two wood elves and Evictous, the Orc especially intrigued me, he was wearing as I recognize now, a full set of Orcish armor and had an Orcish hammer on his back.

I followed them all day through the forest till they settled down at dusk, setting up a little camp. The sky's horizon turning an amazing shade of red as the sun dipped, ''much like in elswyr'' I thought. I crept up and climbed up a tree where I could see them but they couldn't see me, I could hear them talk and make out their individual voices, but not what they spoke of. My eyes got heavy staring at the fire they pitched and fell asleep, I was suddenly awoken deep in the night to the sounds of a struggle. I looked at the camp shrouded in darkness and blinked a few times for my eyes to adjust.

It was the vampire, and he brought a few friends, he must have stalked me all this time and decided to prey upon the caravan. A hole had been cut in a tent they had pitched, the tent thrashed about a bit then I heard the sound of something smashing flesh and a vampire came flying out of the incision on the tent with a broken head, the orc came stepping out, his war hammer in his hands. Two vampires lept at him, one latching onto his back and another slashing at him in front. He grabbed hold of the one on his back and with one hand threw her into the one in front of him, he turned to face another charging him, squared up and with enough force to knock down a stone wall, smashed the vampires face, taking the top of his head, not so cleanly, off. As he battled, his comrades emerged too and begun to fend themselves. I brought my attention to a vampire directly below my tree, too observing the skirmish waiting for the chance to pounce, instead I pounced him. I drew Evictouses old dagger from my side, and stood up on my branch, raised a foot up off the branch along with my dagger with both hands, studied the vampires position and my favored trajectory, and stepped off, I bended my knees slightly and my feet connected right between his shoulder blades, and my blade came naturally down and penetrated the back base of his head and went all the way to the grip guard. As I explored the newly discovered art of pulling a blade out of thick bone and cartilage I realized, it was the same vampire I had seen below me those nights before. I heard an arrow wiz above my head, and stick into something squishy, I looked up and saw a vampire above me with an arrow sticking out its eye socket and a surprised look upon her face. she wobbled for a second before collapsing on top or the dark elf as I pulled the blade free with all my might and fell back, it was the last vampire dispatched and the attack was over. The nord woman holding a bow came up to me to ask what in oblivion I was doing as she walked me back to the camp, her partners turning out the vampires pockets. The imperial recognized me and naturally wanted some answers and no lies either. They all studied me intently with exception of the orc who said nothing but brought his hammer to rest on his shoulder and admired the fine job he had done, but still listening for my reply.

I figured I had nothing to lose from the truth, so I told them my whole story of Evictous and my brother and everything, up to now. Their expressions changed when I told of how they were lynched. They gave their condolences and said I could travel with them to chorrol, which I did.

This is also the first time I looted a fallen foe. My shoes were worn out so I found a dead vampire with small enough feet and pulled the shoes off. I''ll admit vampires are common but those black boots they make sure are comfortable.

The cyrodillian man whom I originally spoke to at the market told me his name was Pelagious, he was young, had a red beard that coiled along his chin with a bald head to boot. The following day while traveling he told me how he had lost his parents at a young age to wolves, but only had to travel to a neighboring village to live with his uncle. And told me ''how strong I am for of coming this far, and how I am capable whatever I believe I am''. ''I grew up dirt poor and now i'm a successful Merchant'' he told me. I thanked him for sharing his story and words of wisdom.

When we reached chorrol, Pelagious told me they would spend two weeks there, selling and trading, I told them I would probably leave before that and they told me I could stay with them as long as I needed to. I admired the orc, not for only his skill but his modesty, he seldom spoke and mostly observed. I believe his name was Uhlg-bar but I can't be certain.

Two days after our arrival I was walking around the town breath taken by the sheer size of the mountains that were over Chorral. I noticed out of the corner of my eye that a guard was approaching me from across the square. I could tell she was going to question me being there. I began to walk in the direction opposite of the guard. I looked at the buildings, the roof's, windows, doorways, any nook or cranny that showed opportunity to run to and escape the guard but none showed.

''Halt!'' the guard shouted.

I stopped locking my eyes forward, clearing my mind completely to be able to hopefully address the situation properly and hopefully get away without incident. I slowly turned to find the guard standing before me her hands on her hips in a strong stance. ''I've been watching you for the last two days cat, you're not from here where are you're parents?'' ''They're around, you haven't seen them?'' I replied. ''turn out your pockets.'' the guard said.

''I haven't done anything'' I replied. ''I'm not asking you, I'm telling you to turn out your pockets, now if you don't comply I'll bend you over my knee, now empty your danmed pockets.'' I turned out my belongings, I had some berries, my finger cymbals and Evictouses old dagger.

''And where did you get all this?'' the guard said snatching the dagger and everything else from me, unsheathing it and studying the blade. ''It's this one's father's'' I replied. ''Oh really, it looks of breton make to me.'' she said scoffingly. ''He's an old merchant.'' I said. ''Who did you steal this from hmm?'' she said sliding it into it's sheath and gripping it in her fist. ''this one didn't steal it, it is this one's father's'' I said. ''Well if it is his, where is he?'' she said. ''This one doesn't know this one was just looking for him.'' I replied. There was a long uncomfortable pause.

''You're an orphan aren't you?'' the guard said in a lowered tone. ''...no'' I replied. ''That's it, if you're going to lie to me I'll just find who you stole this from and if you're father is around he'll have no problem picking you up from the orphanage.'' the guard grabbed me by the wrist ''come on, lets go.

The guard led me around to a dozen different vendors around the area. Each of them smiling at first at the guard greeting them, then upon the guard explaining her take on the situation their grins faded. Then after the guard questioning the traders some ''does this dagger belong to you?'' ''are you sure it doesn't belong to you?'' and so forth. After a few more merchants me and my captive came upon yet another local merchant. ''sorry for bothering you, this khajiit stole someone's dagger, could it be your's?'' the guard asked kindly.

''Let me see that'' the merchant asked and the guard handed him the dagger. He unsheathed it and studied it. Then studied my face in a grimace. ''Yes I do believe this is my dagger'' the merchant said studying the blade. ''That's a danmed lie!'' I said. The guard slapped me across the face, I put my head down feeling where she hit me. ''I've heard just about enough from you thief.'' the guard barked. I felt like giving the guard a nice makeover grabbing Evictouses dagger and running. But I figured being put in an orphanage had a better escape chance then the city jail.

And so the guard grabbed me by the wrist and hustled me to the city's orphanage. I studied the streets, alley's paths and direction we correlated to the city entrance. We walked in and there were little ones running around and carrying on with each other. The guard deposited me with a woman who sat me down and gave me a stern explaining of the rules, wagging her finger in my face. Then she led me to a large room with makeshift beds lining the walls. She said that any belonging's I had I was to deposit with her, didn't have anything anyway as the guard had taken everything I had. She instructed me to settle in but the next day I was to begin doing chores. I wasn't angry except for the fact that I had lost the last physical connections to my family. I figured after some time of scoping out the orphanage I would simply slip out in the dead of night and out of chorrol, how secure could an orphanage be anyway?

Very secure that's how secure.

I found how the windows were cast iron barred. The doors were heavy wood and were locked at night, there were caretakers watching the orphan's and keeping a close eye on the doors, along with a guard patrolling the street right outside. it would be a good half mile dash to the city enterance. Choroll the city I was to pass through to daggerfall was now my prison.

I studied the dorm and walked out and down the hall exploring my new surroundings.

''KITTY CAT'' a little girl yelled running up to me and tackling me to the ground. She began petting me aggressively. ''get off!'' I said shoving her off. She fell back on her rear with a stunned look on her face for moment then began a high pitched squealing. I got up and left the strange creature I had encountered.

The night fell and we were sent to bed, I laid in my new resting place, cleared my head and thought of my new situation and how I might escape it. Even if I got out of the orphanage, they might notice the only khajiit missing. The guards would be alerted and I would be recaptured before I was out of the city, I could run but the town guard might draw suspicion to a little khajiit girl running through the streets.

So I slept and in the morning we were all awoken to a woman banging a pot with a wooden spoon. ''Time to wake up brat's!'' the woman yelled. ''get in your lines!'' We were led to the dining area. And after the meal were sent to do choirs. I simply kept my head down and watched, listened to everything, what floorboards were creaky, how did the shadows in each room fall anything and everything. Hopefully to assist me in my eventual escape from the orphanage.

At the end of the choirs, I sat alone at the dining area, brainstorming for ideas how to get out but always running into walls in my scenario's. I began to question if I was really going to spend the next decade within the orphanage, but quickly pushed the notion out of my head and used it as fuel for determination on defeating my challenge. I didn't walk all this way to sit in a run down overcrowded orphanage forever.

A large woman approached me. ''Young khajiit, what are you doing in here? Go play with the others!'' the woman said. ''This one does not want to'' I replied. ''You mean I do not want to'' the woman shot back, I didn't reply. ''Well then? Are you getting fresh with me?'' The woman said in a lowered tone. ''This one is not getting fresh with anyone'' I replied. ''If that's how you want it'' she said turning away from me and leaving the room. I was a little puzzled by this but quickly pushed the encounter out of my head and continued brainstorming. The woman returned with a large barrel chested man. ''Are you sure she was being fresh?'' the man said questioningly. ''DON'T QUESTION YOUR MOTHER'' the woman shouted. The man looked as if he shrunk an inch and began walking towards me. I quickly slid out from my chair and got into a defensive stance, the man hunched forward and raised his arms in front of him. I looked all around me for potential escape routes from the unknown man. I dove under a table and began to scamper to the other side but the man gripped me by my tail and pulled me out.

Fucker

He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder. I wasn't too happy about this at the time. He carried me out of the room and down the long hall with the large woman right behind with her arms crossed and a condescending look on her face. She walked with us all the way to the end of the hallway, the orphans seeing the situation I was in and begun mocking. At the end of the hallway the woman walked ahead and out of my area of view. I heard the creak of a door open and the man picked me up and shoved me forward. I landed on my feet but stumbled backward I stumbled into the small crampt room smaller than a closet. The last thing I saw was the large woman slamming the door shut in my face.

There was no light in the room, with barely enough room to crouch. It was incredibly quiet, the only noise coming from my captives walking back down the hallway. But it wasn't quiet for long as the orphans took to coming down the hall and mocked me. After they finally got tired of humiliating me they left in their laughing jeering group and I was left to silence again. ''Well, is it possible to reach my goal from here?'' I thought, that certainly wasn't a pleasant experience but there are no eyes on me now. My eyes were adjusted to the pitch black room. Somthing I suppose they might have overlooked in their hasty imprisoning of me. I saw that the floor boards were decreped. There was even a cold draft from them. I looked through a notch and saw that blow me was a crawlspace under the building. I wasted no time pulling at the nails that peeked out with my claws. After about two hours of working I managed to pull a few nails out and two boards loose.

Then I heard the infamous sound of footsteps at the far end of the hall. They weren't footsteps of orphans. They were the footsteps of the man and I could tell he was heading for me. I ran through my head on how if discovered that the boards were weakened or pulled out they would replace it with a strong new floor and my chances of ever escaping the orphanage would be zero. I desperately began yanking and pulling the last two nails out. He was about halfway down when I pulled the last nail out. The last board was jammed in tight. I began to yank twist and pull as ferociously as I could and finally it gave, it gave off a slight distinct crack sound which the man must have heard as he began running down the hall.

I franticly began shoving myself down the hole. I cut and lacerated myself pretty good on an old nail that jotted out but I ignored the extreme pain and pushed myself down but I ran into a problem. I had my full left leg down but I hadn't the space to manuver my right leg down. I began back tracking and pulled my thigh out a bit.

The door swung open and the little room filled with light, the man stood afront me. I slipped my right leg down and grabbed the bottom of the board and pulled as hard as I could. My hips began to pop through but the man grabbed me under my arms and heaved me out. ''looks like we'll need to get that floor replaced you little daedra.'' he said throwing me over his shoulder and beginning to carry me down the hall.

I reached around, put a talon in his mouth and pierced through his cheek Tugging at it madly. He shrieked with pain and lost his grip on me and I squirmed out of his grasp. Some orphans had been watching and gasped. I began running down the hall at full speed to the entrance. The orphans having shocked speechless looks on their faces as I flew by. I ran some distance then looked back briefly to see the barrel chested man running after me at full speed as well, with madness in his eyes.

I reached the end of the hall to the foyer and entrance to find the large woman addressing someone at the door with it open a crack. Her head peeking out. I put my shoulder down and plowed through the woman to the bright light outside. I knocked the large woman down and fell to the city street. I had half knocked the wind out of me but I turned myself over and found Pelagious standing above me along with Ulagh-Bar. Pelagious paused for a moment speechless, then he turned to the large woman who had picked herself up. ''You were just telling us how she wasn't here!'' he said pointing his finger at her. The woman was stunned for a moment. ''Sir I assure you we have plenty of kajiit here, if we knew this was your daughter we would have-'' ''there were no other khajiit in there!.'' I shouted. Pointing at her. Ulagh-bar studied me closely as I worked to my feet. There was a loud trotting of feet and the large man appeared in the doorway holding his cheek that dripped blood, and shoving his mother almost over again. ''MA THAT LITTLE FUCKING CAT FUCKING... LOOK'' he pointed to his cheek, the large woman turned to look at his wound then truned to look at me with her full eyes open as if her eyelids ceased exsisting. The large man started stepping outside but Ulagh-Bar put his foot in front of me and gave a growl, man stopped in his tracks. ''that bastard pulled me out from under a table by my tail!'' I exclaimed. Ulagh-bar turned his head and studied my face, his grimace turned to a smerk. ''heh heh heh heh … looks like he got what was coming to him then'' Ulagh-bar said.

''you held my daughter in an orphanage against her will, she was humiliated and lashed out, I suppose that's about fair enough. Now we'll be on our way.'' Pelagious said taking me under his arm and walking me away.

As we walked through the streets and to their wagon I thanked them and retold my ordeal. Pelagious described how they became worried when I didn't return by nightfall and his two other companions looked for many hours that night as him and Ulagh-Bar watched the caravan. They were now resting. He had told me their names but I have forgotten them. When we returned to their wagon I saw that they had packed eveything up as not to be stolen. I felt a little ashamed of being so detrimental to the group they had to waste a day of good trading to come after me.

As we all sat together eating a dinner Pelagious had prepared I complemented him on pretending to be my father to get me out of the orphanage. He gave a pause ''Well I've been meaning to talk to you about that, I've done a lot of thinking on the subject and well, daggerfall is a far ways away, there's no guarentee you would find who your looking for when you get there. You've proven a nice young girl and I've grown fond of having you around. I'll raise you up as I would one of my own. We do a yearly cycle of trading in Cyrodill and layover in leyawiin in the winters. We're all a big family, what do you say?'' There was a silence as they all waited for my response. I thought it ove deeply, it was true that I too had grown fond of them, but I felt as if something was pushing me forward. ''thank you so much for offering, but I have to get to daggerfall I simply have to.'' I replied.

I could tell they were a little disappointed in my decision, but I simply laid back and watched the stars. The others retired to the inn we were staying in until it was just me and Ulag-Bar sitting alone. He broke the silence and told me that I was on par with orc children and if I had been one, he said he wouldn't doubt if I would be capable of becoming the alpha female of a stronghold, ''the way I hold myself, the fire behind my eyes not blind with pure grief, maybe clouded but this will pass'', he said. He also complemented my kill of the vampire back in the forest. But to work on building my skills. I thanked him, and he told me to not to ''turn into another milkdrinker''.

On the day of my departure Pelagious gave me a coin purse containing 213 septims and some fur clothes, ''going to get colder the further north you go'', he said stroking his red beard that wrapped on his chin like a coil, and explained what the terrain would be like on the way to Dragonstar. Ulag-Bar said nothing when I parted, When I laid my eyes upon him for the last time he was sitting at a chair at a table in the inn, he looked into my soul and nodded in acknowledgement, I nodded back and left.

I will finish this tomorrow, I'm now in jorravskir at Kodlac's old desk, I'm retiring for the evening.


	3. Onwards and upwards (Chapter 3)

-Sun's Dawn, 5th, 4E 202-

_**R**_eturning to my story, I left Chorrol and headed towards Wayrest. Evictiouses lessons proved extremely useful as I would have gotten lost if I hadn't been able to tell north from the stars in the night sky. I crossed into eastern Hammerfell, I don't know when because were no markers to indicate the border, my only indication was when I passed through a village and the natives told me the village was a bit north of the border. I began to see pines more often then other trees. I found those simple villages very interesting.

It took three and a half months to reach the city of Dragonstar, when I entered the city, it was in jubilation, apparently the city was half in Hammerfell and half in Skyrim until now. The high king or queen of Skyrim had given the Skyrim half of the city to Hammerfell, mending a rift that had existed for generations. It had an old arena which I visited and watched warriors fight for prizes, I was intrigued on how the warriors shook hands after the victor was chosen. I could see thet they were not going through the motions of the commending of each others skills. They were nodding, smiling and sharing laughs, conversing as well but I was too far away to hear their words.

I bought a simple bow and a quiver of iron arrows with the septims pelagious had given me. I went out to the few surrounding farms just out of the city and an old farmer allowed me to practice my marksmanship on some of his hay stacks. The first few arrows went wild of course, a passing adventurer on the road saw my lack of skill, came over and briefly gave me some tips with my aim and form. ''Keep both your eyes open and get a little closer, move back after you get the hand of that distance.'' he said, finally I managed to hit the far edge of the bale, ''There you are! Keep practicing and with time you'll be able to shoot an apple off a sod's head from a hundred paces.'' he said as he left.

I practiced for another hour until my quiver ran empty. I spent the next three collecting them from the woods beyond, determined not to lose a single one. The fur clothing proved useful, the air was brisk at night, a stark contrast to what I had grown up with. I spent a week in Dragonstar, sleeping in-between houses, until the third night when the family living in one of the houses I had slept beside invited me to stay with them. They were a nord family. A husband and wife with two son's one younger than me by three years and the other a year older, and a daughter being the middle child and being the same age as myself. I didn't see her nearly as often since she helped her mother trade their crops, the locals would gander at me when they saw the young khajiit girl pass but the children of the family were especially intrigued with me, never seeing a khajiit before.

They asked me all sorts of questions of my homeland and what it was like to be a khajiit, and I asked them questions of what it was like being a Nord and their homeland. One day when myself and the children of the family were sitting cross legged on the floor in front of their fireplace the younger Nord boy started scratching me behind the ear. I gently pushed his hand away, he immediately apologized. I told him it was fine, ''but khajiit are not animals''. He was puzzled by this understandably, ''I suppose we're all animals'' he said after a discussion of the topic, this made me think deeply for a moment ''I suppose we all are'' I retorted. We came to the agreement that he could pet me on the head if I could fiddle with his braids, I later wrestled his older brother, I pinned him three times in a row being a more experienced wrestler, Me and Gre'hano would usually wrestle in the afternoons after lessons from the town shaman or helping out our elders, but I let him beat me in a few so that he wouldn't be embarrassed.

The Nord father who worked in the fields questioned me of where my parents were and what I was doing so far away from home. I told him of my family in elsweyr and Evictouses sister in Daggerfall and so forth, he gave his condolences but recommended I not travel alone to Wayrest, he said he could hire a Sellsword to accompany me to Wayrest but I declined saying he shouldn't have to pay for such a thing. He persisted and told me he had a friend from his years in the army who could accompany me to Wayrest and I agreed, to not insult his generosity.

The kids naturally asked me what brought me so far from elsweyr, I told them my family in elsweyr were no longer able to take care of me so they were sending me to an aunt in Daggerfall. ''Some parents, sending a little girl across Tamriel all by herself.'' they concurred. I told them that it was for good reason and that elsweyr was no longer safe for me. ''What did you do?'' they questioned being intrigued of what could have possibly caused this. ''I didn't do anything'' I answered seeing the intrigue and worry in their eyes. The older sibling sat back ''Oh, it's something you didn't do, sometimes I'll slip out on da to go play in the forest, I always get a good beating when I do that though.'' He said reassured. ''Something like that'' I said. A great dread begun to wash over me which I had not felt before, the thought of thinking of my snapped and broken family battered and bloodied in a heap on the oasis sand charged at me, I felt my soul begin to be thrown into the fire. Realizing I was slipping I pushed the thought of my family out of my head and back into the warm Nord family I was with.

The Nord man introduced me to his old friend from the army, apparently they had fought in the great war together. His name was Suuther, he had long grey hair and a full thick beard, and carried a cold sternness with me that he did not express with anyone else.

When we left he made it clear that he was only helping me as a favor to his friend. I would have told him he didn't need to waste his time with me but he knew the quickest route to Wayrest, a port city in Iliac Bay.

As we traveled Suuther barely said more than maybe twenty words to me. One day we were tracking an Elk for provisions. Suuther shot it dead center and it fell. I had also tired my luck in helping but as I shot it went soaring high over our prey. We walked up to the creature and Suuther pulled his arrow free. ''And your a lousy shot'' He said with no pretext. After traveling for what must have been around two weeks, we were sitting around a campfire we stoked for the night, after we had finished eating but before we went to our bedrolls, I broke the silence and asked what had hovered over us the entire trip ''Suuther why don't you like me?'' Not showing a single change in expression, in a casual tone he said ''because Khajiit are thieves and moraless dogs, or cats, I should say'' he said still staring at the fire.

I stared into the fire and chewed his words over for a bit, then studied the silhouette of the mountain range beyond us that separated us from Skyrim and the stars. ''Do all Nords think this way?'' I asked after a long silence only broken by sizzles and cracks from the fire. ''Foolishly no'' he said in a more risen tone, he stood up and went to his roll and laid facing away from me and the fire. I thought of telling him of my father and his brother and their father but decided it was in my best interest not to.

In the morning he wasted no time packing up our gear and we resumed the trek at a distinctly faster pace. I could tell he wanted me out of his hair as quickly as he could but I didn't detest. About two days later we reached the city of Wayrest. We came to the top of a hill and saw it in the distance. ''Well, there's Wayrest, b'gone with ya'' he turned around on the path and begun walking, ''you're not going to stop in the city?'' I asked. ''Not with the likes of you I'm not'' he said. ''Thank you for guiding me Suuther'' I called to him as he went back down the path, He did not reply.

As I approached the city I could hear cheering, music and jubilation. There were many bodies hanging in cages outside on the city walls. A town guard on the wall called out to me, breaking my intent study of the corpses, ''This is Wayrest khajiit, and those dogs you see theyah aw members, or shud I say foarmeh members oav da dawk brathorhood, we're celebrating awah champions as weh speak. Keep ya nose clean an ya shoulden't hav any problems here''.

As I approached the large door of the city a man high above on the wall began turning a crank and the volume of the celebrating tripled as the gates opened. I saw smiling men being carried atop a crowd that took up the whole street. They threw them up a few feet and would collectively hoorah. a few people in windows threw down flower petals every so often.

I slipped through the crowd and headed to an inn, the sounds of the crowds once again being muffled as the door closed behind me. The place was deserted except for a Breton woman behind a counter. She greeted me as I was at the door. ''Huh, never thought I'd see another soul all day, what can I do for you young lady?'' ''I need to get to Daggerfall'', I returned. ''Daggerfall? Where are your parents?'' she tested. ''They are dead, they were killed in our village in elsweyr, for the last few months I've been traveling to Daggerfall because a Breton man named Evictous, who was like a father to me and my brother, spoke of his sister in Daggerfall who runs a mill in the woodlands outside the city. who would often write to him and express her happiness if he would move up with her with his new family. I have nowhere else to go as all other extended family of mine has been killed as well, and I don't care if you think a danmed orphan shouldn't be traveling all the way to Daggerfall and should be stuffed in an orphanage somewhere, I'm getting to fucking Daggerfall no matter what.'' I said as walked up to the bar and sat in front of her.

''...Oh'' she said in a surprised tone, she focused her eyes on a glass and thought intently after a long break she spoke ''I never thought I'd hear such strong language from such a young lady but I understand your concerns with your well being. I'm sorry to hear about your family, you don't need to talk about it if you don't want to'', she said. I apologized for my rudeness towards such a nice woman and explained how along my journey many towns I passed through tried to apprehend me and put me in with caregivers or force me into an orphanage.

She put the glass she was wipeing down and put both hands on the counter ''Well my father works at the docks, perhaps he can help you gain passage to a ship heading for Daggerfall'', she offered, I was shocked at the opportunity for a moment, if I could get passage on a ship it would mean not having to way over in a town for the passing of winter that was fast approaching. ''If you could do that for me I would be eternally great full'' I said. She smiled and picked the glass back up again ''Just wait until the end of my shift and I will take you to meet him, his name is Geraldain. ''Thank you so very much'' I said, and I took a seat at a table in the far dark corner of the bar. I loosened my worn fur boots put my things under my chair, I crossed my arms and laid my head on the table and fell asleep.

She gently shook my shoulder to awake me. ''It's the end of my shift, do you still want to see if my father will help you?'' ''Yes'' instinctively fell out of my mouth along with a string of spit that stuck to the table and my mouth, I popped up and quickly collecting my things. We headed out the door, it was a windy overcast afternoon, shudders banged on houses and the street lay littered with the celebrations of earlier. As we walked I felt as if we were being watched, that coupled with the thought of possibly finding no passage on any ships made my gut do twists ''Are you sure your father will be able to help this one?'' I asked. ''Hundreds of ships pass in and out of Wayrest. There has to be a ship somewhere along the docks that can help you, And if not today, tomorrow'' she answered. That put my nerves at ease. We headed down sloping stone roads towards the docks which I saw as we turned round the corner of a house row, the massively tall masts of the ships prodded into the sky and made the harbor look like a bare branched forest.

We reached the docks and saw an older man shifting barrels around in front of a warehouse. She told me to wait by some boxes as she explained to her father the situation, I obliged and hopped up onto a box. I saw she held her hands as she approach the man, she stopped a few paces from him as he lifted a large barrel with little trouble onto a stack, as he went for another barrel he saw her and turned to face her, greeting her warmly. She talked for a bit, she gestured to me he put his fists on his hips and looked over to me briefly I saw his face was in deep thought. They both walked over to me and I hopped up. ''So you need to get to your aunt in Daggerfall is that right?'' he said with his booming voice and a grin on his lips. I nodded and said I could give him my animal pelts in exchange, reaching into my pack the Nord father in Dragonstar had gifted me when I left with Suuther.

''There's no need for that, not now at least. I'm not in charge of any ship, just work the docks here. I know a captain of a ship, Captian Strozze Maconner of the Widows tear. Known him for a while, but he's not very generous man. M'names Geraldain by the way.''

''This one is Zeiquana and is pleased to meet you,'' I said. ''I'll help you meet him, but understand his decision of taking you aboard or not is not up to me. he said, stroking his chin. ''this one understands, thank you for your generosity'', I returned. ''Determined and well mannered, I like that.'' He said with a complementing voice. ''Well, we'd better find Captian Strozze then shouldn't we?'' As me and Geraldian began shifting to walk down the dock and his daughter began to depart, she called out to me ''good luck!'' I stopped. ''Wait, this one never learned your name!'', I called back to her. She smiled, ''my name isn't important, what's important is you getting to Daggerfall to your aunt'', she smiled a brief second more and then turned away walking back up the docks.

As we walked down the harbor, the sounds of the water and groaning boats and dock workers moving about made me at ease. ''What is your daughter's name?'' I asked Geraldain. He chuckled, ''that's my sweet little Annie, she always puts others needs and wants above all else, she's a sweet lass, I only hope she doesn't find a husband who would take advantage of her kindness.''

''What is this captain like?'' I asked gazing up at the ships. ''Captian Strozze seems decent enough, have known him for about three years, seldom ports at Wayrest, unloads mostly spices and that sort of thing. Bit of a temper on the man though, so watch yourself''.

We walked some length of the dock till we came upon a ship of Imperial craft. It had a large carved woman on the front, with her hands grasping the boat and a long streak on each side of her face running from her eyes. The stain of where the plate that bore the ships name was visible on the side.

''Ol' Strozze lost his ships name plates in a storm some years back, I suppose he just hasn't gotten around to getting replacements yet, surprising considering that's thought of as bad luck'' Geraldian commented as slowed our pace. As we reached the mid point of the ship a big armed Redguard sat on the rail of the ship. ''I would like to be granted audience with Captian Strozze-''. ''Maconner?'' the Redguard said finishing his sentence. ''I will send word back to him to check'', he said as he lifted his legs over the rail onto the deck and walked out of sight. We waited for about half a minute or so until he returned, ''come on up'' he said gesturing his hand and cocking his head back, the Redguard extended the gangway. I went first as Geraldain insisted so he could catch me if I fell, I was naturally well balanced regardless but I digress.

We came upon the deck and the redguard led us to the captains quarters past workers mopping the deck and doing other ship related activities. Geraldain insisted he would talk to the Captian to see about securing my passage to Daggerfall.

He entered the door and the Redguard followed him closing the door behind him, leaving me to wait outside. I listened closely to the talking inside and watched the ship workers. Geraldian and this captain Strozze greeted each other, and I heard Geraldian tell my story and how he met me and so forth. Near the end of the story, Captian Strozze injected with a sarcastic tone, ''So let me get dis straight here, ye want me to take a youngling all da way across Iliac bay with no form of compensations just so the lass can go to her Anitees house?'' his voice was unbelievably raspy. ''Well I thought that if you were already heading to Daggerfall you could drop her off while you're, in the neighborhood''. ''Well now ye be jumpin teh assuumptens are ye not?'' Hearing negotiations not going well I flung the door open and all eyes in the room turned to me.

''Captian Strozze Maconner, this one's name is Zeiquana, I would like to sail with you and pay this one's passage through work, this one has noticed that your deckhands are quite strong, but look to be lacking in agility, in storms this one predicts it causes problems. I'm a natural born climber, and can help in any jobs around the ship that may merit that. It doesn't matter if we go to Daggerfall first, as long as we go there within a month and a half''.

The captain's gave a focused expression, then his lips stretched and gave to a smile, showing his rotten teeth, and he chuckled. ''A determined one ain't cheh'' he said as he stood from his chair behind his desk. ''I'll have to get eh better look atcha and be the one who determine's if ye fit far climben'' he said walking over to me. He picked up my arm at the wrist and squeezed different spots, wiggled it around and brought his free hand to his black beard, rested his chin on his thumb and rubbed under his lower lip. He let out a long Hmm, then dropped my arm. He moved behind me and to my right side and repeated the process with my right arm. He came to my front, squatted down to my level, and parted my lips with his dirty fingers, and intently studied my teeth, his intensely focused face close to mine, I opened my mouth so he could get a better view. ''Close ye mouth darlin'' he said. ''Thhaee'', I said closing my teeth again. He studied them a moment longer then let my face go, standing up doing that low chuckling of his. ''Welcome to the Widows Tear lass.''

I will continue this story some other time, as I need to find a giant today that has been harassing travelers as of late.


	4. Rough Waters (Chapter 4)

-Sun's Dawn, 6th, 4E 202-

Starting where I left off with Captian Strozze I suppose I should give a give a description him, he was middle aged and had a worn scarred face, with a wart here and there, had no left leg below his mid shin, and substituted a peg. ''Welcome to the Widows tear! I'll have M'zzakiel here who you've already been acquainted wit show ya to where ya will be sleep'in.'' The redguard began walking out of the room, ''alright khajiit, fallow me''. I smiled at Geraldian and nodded, he smiled and waved, and I turned following M'zzakiel out of the room.

I followed him through an open hatch in the deck to a narrow hall running the length of the ship, he led me down further to the lower part of the ship where the crewmen slept. He stopped in front of a hammock identical to the ones around it. ''This is the hammock you will be sleeping in, ask Anmier for what you'll be doing, but not at this moment, he had a little too much mead while in town'' said M'zzakiel also pointing to a thick black bearded imperial man in another hammock snoring loudly. He was skinny and fair skinned, wore ragged trousers along with a blue striped shirt. When I turned to face M'zzakiel after studding the man in the hammock I managed to see his feet briefly on the top stairs leading up.

I got familiar with the ship after that, the third level down where I slept, the second level was boxes and storage from what I could see, a sailor quickly chased me out when he saw me peeking in. The hold of the ship was empty, there were two large life boats on the main deck, one stacked on the other, blocking the windows of the captains quarters from the deck, I didn't go in there, being mindful of not giving the captain a reason to kick me off the ship. I explored more, the deck where the wheel that steered the ship was located, the deck on the front of the ship, and the balcony like deck located lower in front of that. There was a level lower than where the crewmen slept, but you had to crouch to navigate it, it was the bottom of the boat, quite cold down there too.

After I got associated with the ship it was dark, so I went to my hammock, put my things under it and climbed in. It was quite awkward at first, but very comfortable once you adjusted. I relaxed quickly and fell asleep to the sound of water sloshing against the hull of the ship.

I was awoken by Anmier tapping me on the face with the back of his hand. ''Alrighty time tah get up, rise'n'shine, ya'v got a lot of work ahead of ya'' said Anmir. I jumped down from the hammock and followed Anmir to the deck whilst he explained I would be helping withdraw the main mast. The ship rocked in long gradual droves and creaked. He began to explain different knots but I enlightened him that I already knew knots well. Another thing I can thank Evictous for. When we stepped up to deck the storm that I experienced back in Wayrest had followed us out. The sky was gray and the waves were choppy, but the full force of the storm was still behind us, but fast approaching with every moment. A crack of thunder sailed over the waves to us. I climbed up the rope ladder thing on the side of the ship as quickly as I could. As I reached the top and looked back down I saw Anmir still only a third of the way up. I asked the sailor in the crow's nest what to do, then walked along the mast's arm and got to position, When Anmir climbed over the top, he saw me already on the other side waiting. We grabbed our ropes and jumped down, quickly at first, it was quite refreshing the smell of sea salt, the wind in my fur, being able to observe the bay for miles around, that sensation in your gut of descent. As I was a quarter of the way down a large gust blew me over the side of the ship and over the open ocean briefly before I slowly swung back. As we approached the deck the weight of the large mast slowed our descent as we reached the bottom. Anmier amended me on my skill and we began to get the smaller sail set.

After we finished the sail and mast duties many hours later, the storm was in full force, the ship rocked far from side to side, beaten by the waves. We went below deck where most of the other sailors resided. Many were in their hammocks, but some presided over a card game on a table that was nailed to the floor, to prevent it from sliding from the rocks that were very wide pivoting, for lack of a better term. The sailors in the hammocks humorously were sound asleep, as large rocks sent their hammocks swinging far across the room, some going right over the card game in the middle of the room. Whilst the players ignored this completely, and secured their drinks in-between makeshift drink fasteners made from four or five nails sticking out of the table top.

Anmir joined the game as I walked to my hammock, dodging rocking sailors in hammocks along the way. I caught hold and climbed into my hammock, watched in wonder as I swung a length of the room like the other sailors, the only light cascading the room from the candle stuck on the table, and I quickly rocked to sleep. I drempt of snow kissed mountains and snowy forests.

I was awoken to the sound of what I now understand cannon fire. I lept from my hammock and raced up the stairs to the source of the thunder. It came from the level above mine. Cannons were uncovered from cleverly disguised covers that looked like box stacks. The sailors were all mounted to one, firing them. I ran to the deck to escape the defining noise, to see we were attacking another ship. I looked above to our mast and saw a black banner, with a skull and crossbones on it.

I looked around so see pirates I had thought sailors running around, carrying out a multitude of tasks. Captian strozze on the deck above his quarters, barking orders, A cannonball whistled past my face and I dove to the deck, against the mast as to not get trampled by the pirates. Strozze lifted his Shimitar high into the air giving a signal, his crew jeered and began swinging over to the innocent ship. A few moments later they began throwing over boxes and barrels to the Widows tear, often securing them to ropes and swinging them over. After a while, the merchant ship began to list heavily to the side away from us and back, The pirates regained their ropes they had swung over on and swung back. After all were back on board, they began firing relentlessly into the other ship, cheering, and speeding up her sinking. As she slipped beneath the waves, they began lifting each other up and carrying each other down to the quarters in loud rowdy celebrations. Once all were accounted for, they began singing songs and drinking. I sat quietly in the back, not sure what to make of everything.

After a few more weeks and two or three more ships, we began sailing west, towards daggerfall. I continued my duties on the masts, as promised, and was accommodated by some pirates for it. The afternoon Daggerfall came into view in the distance I became excited that my voyage would soon come to an end, and I could search out this Verunda. I went to Captian Strozze and questioned when we would be docked at Daggerfall. A wicked grin came upon his face and said we would be there in about an hour, and that I should go below deck and carry out duties. After some time just shy of a hour I collected my things, nonchalantly picked up a gold ring on a table as a souvenir of my time with the pirates and headed to the deck. When I looked out on the twilight lit bay a storm was fast approaching from the east, Daggerfall was just barely visible and land being mostly a grey hue on the horizon behind us. I rushed to Captian Strozze who was looking out from the deck above his quarters and asked what the meaning of this was.

''You've proven yourself quite useful over your time here lass. No I find I'm much more comfortable with you as a permanent member of my crew, we sail to Black Marsh. Forget about your auntie lass, you've never met her in ya life and I doubt she'd help ye simply dropping on her doorstep.'' Said the Pirate Strozze. ''I suppose I'll swim ashore then.'' I said with anger at his deceit. The Captian cackled ''If ye fancy a watery grave at the bottom of Iliac bay, then go ahead and try. The distance and approaching storm would be too much to overcome, even to a strong swimmer!'' He turned away and faced a few paces away from me, I unsheathed my bow and fed an arrow into it, I had been practicing in the crawlspace under the quarters. When the captain turned around to face me, hearing the creak of my bow I had his left eye.'' He recoiled from the pain then lunged at me, I slid to the side and knocked him over, tripping his peg leg then leapt onto the rail and dived.

It was a bit further down than I expected and the moment before contact with the water, I panicked a bit, when I splashed down, I didn't lose and arrows from my quiver as it was so stuffed, they held each other in place, under the water watching the bottom of the boat continue on its path, I recovered my bow before it could sink to far down, and sheathed it onto my back. I came to the surface and began swimming.

Swimming in the ocean was very different from swimming in a river or pond as I learned immediately but I swam all the same. I swam for quite a long time, lifting up my head every so often to ensure I was still on my target. Soon it was night and I was swimming in the dark, although my eyes adjusted accordingly. The storm approached, and I began to become a little fearful. Eventually the storm arrived and I was swimming through less than favorable conditions, I couldn't even see the coast with the waves, rain, and wind anymore, but I continued, pushing hard over the waves.

But after not long I began to feel my strength go, but I continued. Then I felt myself smack against a rock. I clung to it with my now weak body, with the last of my energy I climbed it, and collapsed on top of it, spent, and panting. I lost consciousness, the waves in my dream sounded like loud roars from a creature. But on one loud roar I regained my awareness and pushed myself up. I felt even stronger than I did before, I got my footing and stood, grabbing the rock for support. I saw that Daggerfall, now lit with nightlights, it was much closer than before, but still a great distance away. I took a few deep breaths, stretched my muscles and then climbed down the rock some, and caught a wave off of it when it came.

When I got tired, I would use this trick I discovered to ride the waves until I gained back some stamina. After a while I realized it was more efficient to do this all the time. As I came to shore, I should barely stand, my leg's trembled with exhaustion, and after walking a safe distance from the water, I collapsed onto the ground, listening to the waves crash onto the shore. I turned my head to the ground, kissed it, and whispered, ''Daggerfall'' I turned my head back and fell asleep.


	5. Daggerfall (Chapter 5)

-Sun's Dawn, 7th, 4E 202-

_** B**_ack to my recollections, I awoke on the beach in the morning. I pushed myself off the coarse sand and proceeded down the coast. I was just around a bend on the shore from Daggerfall, It's large storm walls awed me. Hundreds of ships docked at its port.

I wandered the huge city for weeks, asking anyone who knew a lumber worker for anyone named Veruna. My usual daily routine would be to wake up from sleeping in the gutter of the street, wander from business to business, any lumber of carpenter shops I could find would be at the top of my list. Sometimes I would be receipted fairly, sometimes not. But altogether none of them would have or know of anyone who knew of Veruna.

One day I found a woodworker who pointer in the direction of one of his workers. A woman by the same name, but she was not Breton, and did not have any siblings to speak of. I slept in any place I could find. All my belongings that I had left I either sold off for money for food, lost or had stolen. One day while eating a bit of bread the thought crossed my mind ''What if she was dead?'' I froze and began to feel scared, but I pushed the notion out of my head and pressed forward.

The weeks rolled by and I began to doubt if I would find this Verunda. I'm not proud of it but at this point I picked a few pockets here and there for money to buy food. I only stole from those who could be fine off without a few septims, and I only took what I needed, but I feel still this should be noted. I was almost caught by a nice young guard on one escapade, he chased me down a alley shouting for me to stop, he grabbed my wrist as I rounded a corner, I sunk my teeth down into his arm in panic, he retracted in pain and I scrambled up some tall boxes to sanctuary. I hope I didn't give him an infection as my hygiene at this point was faltering.

One day when I was wandering the streets of a market, the seasons were changing quickly and it was getting colder and colder. My fur garb that Pelagious had given me was filthy, worn and had soured in scent. I remember that the sky was overcast that particular day as I came upon yet another vendor and asked it he knew anyone named Veruna.

''Sorry lass, but i'm afraid I don't'' I already had pushed the vendor out of my mind and was shifting away when something caught my eye. I turned back to the table and looked down at the object whose gleam had caught me and low and behold, presented on the table was Evictouses dagger.

My mind went blank as I stared at the dagger trying to collect a thought from the void. But wait, I looked above the dagger and I found Evictouses dagger again, I looked above that and found it again, and again. Finally I realized that every single dagger presented was identical to Evictouses old one. I had studied that blade, guard, grip and hilt thoroughly throughout my life, I knew every groove, curve and imperfection. Evictous had given it to me as a gift for my trips into the wilderness. ''A good outdoorsman always keeps a good dagger handy'' he told me on that day presenting it to me with a smile. It was the same dagger he had used all his years as a traveling merchant. I brought my head back up and stared at the merchant, mouth cocked open slightly. My mind was racing and still at the same time, his expression naturally turned bewildered at me staring at him. ''uuhhh, ye alright lass?'' he said hesitantly. I simply stared some more, a moan from my empty stomach broke the silence. ''Have you ever known anyone named Evictous Flaninton?'' I said with a flat tone.

The merchants eyes narrowed at me and his brow crumpled and for a moment, I thought he was going to chase me off. ''Old worn shoes?'' he squeeked. He cocked his head back and gave a long hearty loud cackle which disturbed me a little.

''I haven't heard that name in years!'' he said bringing his head down to meet my gaze ''Aaahhh we were good friends he and I! A loong time ago when I was a wee apprentice I met him in a game of skittles, I accused him of cheating and we got in a good tussle. We wore each other out and had a good laugh afterward. He would always go on long trips and hikes sometimes for weeks at times. Would wear out his boots regularly. How he got ta nickname worn shoes! Last I saw of him was years ago when He left to Elswyr to do something important, but he wouldn't say what. Was pretty important considering he wouldn't tell his old pal Dagaric! Lost touch with him after that, not that I'm sour about that though. Sending letters is quite a lot of septims. But besides that, what is ye association with Ol' Evictous?

I grew hopeful I found someone who might lead me to finding Veruna. ''Evictous was like a father to this one. He came and lived with my family when this ones father died, he helped raise me and my brother. He had a dagger just like these ones here.'' At this point I began to loose my vocabulary differences from Elswyr. ''HA, well he should! When we were young men I crafted him one of my daggers and gave it to him as a parting gift as he begun his life as a traveling merchant. Ye say he's like a father ta you? Well I never expected this when I was setting up this morn'in. Where is he now?'' he said with a smile. There was a pause as I collected myself to break it to him. ''Well actually... he's no longer amongst the living.'' His smile faded along with the sudden brightness in his face. He sighted ''Aye, now that's a danmed shame.'' his eyes fell to his merchandise on the table. ''Well how was he sent off?''

The images of the horror I found that morning filled my mind. My eyes fell to the ground and I too paused. ''Not well'' I answered finally. Dagaric sighed deeper ''ahh that's a blow to take, I won't make ye talk about it. Well where's ye mother? I've seen you wander this street for a few days now. You're obviously alone.'' Dagaric said. ''She died with Evictous, along with the rest of my family. When Evictous was around he would talk of his sister Veruna and how she lived in Daggerfall.'' Dagaric began noding and oh-ing ''I don't have any other family to turn to and she sounded nice from Evictouses accounts. This one was hoping to find her and see if I could live with her. Do you know where she is?''

Dagaric stroked his thick beard and absorbed the information I gave him. ''I'm afraid I don't lass, I remember her now, Veruna was not very fond of me.'' he raised an eyebrow gave a grin and chuckled ''her friend Rotrude certainly was though.'' he sighed ''I only met Veruna maybe five or six times through Evictous.'' I retorted ''Did she seem like she might help someone like this one in a situation like this?'' Dagaric cleared his throat ''I have to be honest with you lass, I don't know, she certainly wasn't warm to me, but I don't know. When I was an apprentice, Evictous grew up in a little cottage betwixt the edge of the city and of the forest.'' I shot back ''Do you think you could take me there?'' I asked in a higher tone. ''Well lass I'd love to but I've got quite a lot on my plate. I either sell my goods or I forge them. Competition for spots on the market is high, ye have ta get here early to have the chance of a good spot, and it may not look like it but I don't have quite as much vigor as I used to, I got six small mouths ta feed at home I scratch by as is and believe it or not.'' he leaned in closer ''I don't get a lotta free time''

I set my eyes to the daggers and absorbed his information. ''look it's not that I don't want te help ya. You've must have been to oblivion and back and judging by ya state of wear I wouldn't doubt it.'' he pleaded ''This one understands, just telling me how to get there would be more than suffice to help this one, and all I can ask of you.'' I stated understanding he was tight enough as is. He stroked his big thick beard and lifted his hand and pointed down the street ''Well what you want to do is..'' he trailed off and grimaced slowly lowered his hand looking down the street full of carts and people almost shoulder to shoulder. ''Ya won't find it'' he grumbled. There was a pause, I could feel his frustration in being no help. I felt of being a huge burden and didn't like it one bit, I began to step away ''It's quite alright, I can just head towards the edge~'' he cut me off and slammed his hand to the table ''Ah ta oblivion with it! Tomarra I'll take ya ta his old home. Just stick around and come home with me and first thing in the morning I take ya there.'' I protested trying to keep my sovereignty ''Dagaric what about your stand? You need to think of your family first'' Dagaric placed his fists on his hips. ''Lass don't you worry about that, you've come all this way, it would be a crime to you and me if your journey ended here simply because'' his changed to a weakling croaking ''I'm to hindered'' he began to stroke his beard again. ''just make sure ya find somting to eat and be up and ready to go in da morn'in, I get up long before the sun is to find a spot and even then it's difficult. I'll skip tomorrow and simply forge some.''

So that night after I had secured half a loaf of bread from some septims I lifted earlier I followed Dagaric back to his home. As we walked in we were greeted by his wife who was obviously stretched to her limit as well both cooking their dinner and controlling their younglings. She greeted us and smiled at me, asking Dagaric who I was, when he explained I would be staying the night her grin turned to a scowl. I didn't blame her. My bedding was the eight chairs in the house pulled together with some blankets layed over it. I layed awake as I heard them argue a bit in the other room.

When Dagaric stepped from his room that early morning he found me dressed, with the furniture put back, and waiting. He stroked his beard, ''ya ready lass?'' He whispered. I nodded and we headed out the door. We walked down the dark streets. He explained the detailed and complex route through the streets and avenues to the house at the far edge of the city, outside the city wall. It was a long walk. When we passed through the huge city gate the city continued, simply with lesser houses and shops. The path was quite hilly I found and we walked a bit more. We approached a crossroads ''The house is right around this corner if my memory is right. We rounded the corner and found another road with houses along here and their, there being a small area of open wild grass before the forest. ''Oh for the love of the eight'' Dagaric groaned. The third house down the way, the one he explained was the cottage, was gone, burned down to just a few supportive beams still partly standing, charred long ago.

We inspected it for some time. The sun peaked over the horizon, shooting long beams across the landscape. Eclipsed by the city, trees and hills. Dagaric sighed and put his fists on his hips. He spoke softly ''well lass... don't know what to tell you.'' He kicked the dist a bit and looked amongst the charred remains of the small cottage. ''If I was in your spot I'd simply fan out among the neighbors and ask if anyone knows what happened here. But I'm afraid I can't take you back with me.'' I hugged him and squeezed tightly, ''You've done all you can do for this one Dagaric, thank you.'' He patted my shoulders, ''well there's one last thing I can do for you I suppose. You said you lost Evictuoses dagger right? Well take mine, it's just like it. I can just forge another'' He handed me his dagger, wished me luck and departed back down the street, I watched him until he disappeared around the corner. I stood there and listened to the silence of the morning around me.

I walked amongst the field hands for the good half of the day, asking for any sort of information regarding Veruna or the burned down cottage. No one knew anything. I returned to the remains of the cottage and sat in front of it, after some time passed a woman passed as well. I called out if she knew anything of it, she stopped and answered ''Why yes I do'' I stood and asked her what happened. ''Ah a sorrowful story that one, a woman, Veruna I think it was. Woodworker was experimenting with magic. Accidentally started a fire, and burned the whole thing down with her along with it. Tragedy that one.''

My heart sank and I slowly sank back down with it, a blind had been lifted. The woman studied me a bit, ''well, good day'' she finally said and continued to push her cart down the path.

I believe a few weeks passed but I can't be sure. My mind was here and there, most of the time and I simply drifted from one place to another. My fur was matted and loosing color. One moment I was sitting against a wall on the street somewhere, staring into nothing.

I found myself sitting in a pub at the counter. It was maybe a week later, I don't recall how I got there. My ribs were beginning to show. There were festivities going about. I sat motionless and cold, I felt myself being a drain on the energy in the room but I didn't care. I heard men and woman's voices milling about. I remember one woman calling out ''excuse me'' in the distance but I payed no mind to it. Then I felt a tap on the shoulder, I turned around not really being there.

Before me stood a Breton woman, with light curly brunette hair. She was fair fraimed. Her eyes were green and glowed with kindness. She wore simple tavern garb, her lips were thin and sweet. She had a strange aura about her. ''Excuse me, my name is Veruna, I run a small mill a ways from here, word is going around that you've been asking around for me.''

The tavern blurred, except for the woman staring at me, waiting for my reply. It felt like the world moved in a much slower motion. I froze, my heart froze. my mind froze, I felt more paralyzed then when I have paralysis magic cast on me now. I starred frozen in place unable to speak. We stared at each other for what felt like a century. A ghost must have been in my belly and decided to depart through my mouth carrying a force with it. ''Evictous'' I blurted out of nowhere. The Womans face focused a bit. ''My brother? It has taken unusually long for me to get word from him recently. What of him?'' I continued to stare at her, she began to search her mind. ''He lives down in Elswyr with a family of Khajiit, your not from there, are you? How do you know of him?'' she questioned. I continued to stare. A collection of ghosts must have been in my gut because after another bit of starring ''I don't know where to begin'' came out of my mouth, but I'll swear it wasn't from my doing. ''Don't worry darling you can tell me everything and start where ever you want, why don't we go back to my cabin and you can start from the beginning, It's a little loud in here.'' I didn't know what she was talking about.

I stood up and followed her out the door, the world was gone except for her, I was lifted by nothing and floated behind her, as if an invisible rope secured me to her.

Veruna lived alone in a cabin in the woodlands not far from her mill, which was prosperous, her cabin had a main room for living and eating functions, with two small rooms off from that. She sat me in a chair at the fireplace and she sat adjacent. ''The word around says that your an orphan?'' She asked. Slowly my senses returned a bit. I began to explain myself.

''Oooh your from Evictouses family down there, where is he, he hasn't returned letters in months. Where is the rest of your family?

It felt as if someone was strangling me. My entire journey I had cast any thoughts of my family out of my head and filled it with determination to keep moving and seek out Veruna, but now that I finally found her there was nothing to keep them out.

''This one's brother Ler'ano was executed for wanting to join the Legion. And the rest of my family, Evictous included, were killed in the night a few weeks later. Evictous told me of you and the rest of any extended family are dead as well. I have been traveling here ever since, I have no one else to go to. Please, will you look after me?'' I pleaded.

Veruna sat in silence for a few moments, shocked. ''Part of me knew something like this happened.'' she said softly. She slowly looked back up at me, her face saddened and she embraced me, ''Of course I would be more than happy to look after you honey.'' I simply hugged back and listened to the crackling of the fire.

She eventually released me and I stood up and walked out to the front porch. I stopped and began looking around. Then suddenly I began to get stones in my throat. I didn't necessarily feel sorrowful, I tried to push it down but the feeling washed over me. I clung to the railing as along with the rest of my body, my legs began to feel weak. My eyes began to sear and water. I grew weaker and weaker and after a few more moments I collapsed to the deck in full blown sobs.

Veruna rushed out and embraced me on the deck and rocked me ''Let it all out, it'll be alright.'' she said comfortingly. I wailed like I had never before.

As I laid there in the pit of myself the first flakes of winter begun to fall.


	6. Years in the Pine (Chapter 6)

-Sun's Dawn, 7th, 4E 202-

_**A**_nd so for the next eleven years, I lived with Verunda, she was a soft, kind hearted woman. She apprenticed me in her lumber jack trade, she taught me how to split a log in a single blow while giving little work. I admired the aspect in Breton society that you could work your way to the top, regardless of who you were, and where you came from, as long as you worked hard, anything could be achieved.

The cabin which we lived in was situated in the forest, it was perhaps fifty odd yards off from the road, a trained eye could spot it through the trees. The forest was quiet and peaceful. The road lazily curved and snaked through the forest. The area around Daggerfall reflected this. It was hilly at times, but nothing compared to Skyrim. There are a few differences between High Rock and Skyrim's forests. Other than the types of pine and other slight differences. The amount of magic plants and other wildlife is the most notable. Albeit Skyrim has a fair bounty when it comes to plants, but lacks the population of wildlife with magical nature. High Rock boasts Nymphs, Dreugh's, and Lamia's amoungst other things, I would find Lamia's to be quite malicious, but I'll get to that.

If you reached a high point and looked to the north, you could make out the beginning of the mountains on the horizon. Veruna allowed me to hike and explore so long as I stayed close to guard patrols and didn't stray to incredibly far from the road on my way, the woods I knew were much more dangerous than of the sands and Oasis of my former home so I obeyed. I traded palms for pine and climbing still was a major pastime for myself.

I quickly grew accustomed to Breton culture enjoyed it thoroughly. I loved the idea that anyone could start at the bottom of a social ladder and work their way up with enough hard work was very enticing to me. Albeit it wasn't a flawless system, there is still Nepotism. Orc's are especially ostracize, the only race to be major outsiders in Breton society, which I found saddening.

I learned how to throw a Javelin with the best of them, Veruna had an old book discussing the weapon and even had illustrations of proper technique. Although this skill was more for competitions and wagers with friends, betting who could throw it precisely here or, how far, or close to a target, that sort of thing. Too bad there are no javelins in Skyrim, as this skill would prove most useful in combat here, maybe even down some dragons with it.

Upon Veruna learning I played finger cymbals she bought me some and we would go to the local inn where me, her and Reroy would play a few songs and socialize with our neighbors, we were far enough from Daggerfall where it was still a place to go but far enough away where our area had a bit of its own identity.

It was here, a few years later that I met a would be knight, a Breton boy who had an apprenticeship with a guild, at another date in a local festival, I was confident enough with my javelin skills to put them to the test, I demonstrated more than a fair understanding of the weapon and the Breton, who witnessed me was stunned at my skill which he lacked, we had a great and long conversation about our weaponry and practice techniques and became good friends.

I will not say what guild or what his name was on fears of their safety for reasons that will become clear moreover, but I will say that they were not the fighters guild and are an offshoot of another older, and now non existent guild that consisted solely of dragon blades. A few seasoned trusted members of this guild he was in may go on to become personal defenders of the king or queen of Daggerfall. I will simply refer to him as my curly haired Breton friend.

I was introduced to his friends, whom also became mine as well, I won't mention their names for their sake, but I will mention one. Among our circle was a high elf named Antherio. As we got to know each other over the following years I learned of his origins. We sat in one of our friends house after my brewing for the day and after their practice of swords play. We happily discussed our experiences when the conversation turned to our places of origin. ''So Zeicuana, tell us of where you hail from, you moved in with your aunt, why?'' my smile faded a bit I told them my story and their smiles faded too.

Suprisingly Antherio spoke up and shared his story which none of us knew. He hailed from Lilliandril in the Summerset Isles. His mother and father both fought in the great war on the side of the Aldmeri Dominion. His mother was lost in the war and his patriotic father went on to stay in the army after the war ended. But he was outspoken on his stand on making peace, and came to the point to challenge the stance of the thalmor, saying how they were insane, going to destroy the world with their actions, but anyone who spoke against the thalmor were round up by them. Many people are afraid to speak against the thalmor, Antherio explained. His father kept his thoughts to their family and trusted army friends. But unfortunately the Thalmor caught wind of him eventually. And Antherio's father, he who fought proudly for his homeland, was arrested and never seen again.

Antherio and his remaining family, his grandmother and sister now seeing the darkness that had quietly taken their homeland, fled in fear. Antherio had a bitter hatred toward the thalmor. As he spoke you could sense his anger even with his Elven composure. He un-needingly apologized to me for the darkness that had also spread to my former homeland, I un-needingly apologized to him for my family members killing his countrymen. He expressed his vendetta and how he swore that he would take up arms against the thalmor one day, I expressed how I simply wanted to be done with them and never have any sort of relations with them again and simply live my life in peace.

For the first few years of my life in Daggerfall I helped around the mill with Veruna and Reroy. Veruna would work the main saw and Reroy would go around chopping the trees down. He was one of the most humorous people I have met. He had an easygoing peaceful sense about him, his only care in the world was for the forest and the trees. His smile was infectious, and he had the most peculiar laugh, which he demonstrated regularly. You could not have a conversation with him for five minutes without coming to love him. He was barrel chested but as gentle as a butterfly. Him and I would go around picking the trees, with him whistling a happy tune. He taught me how to chop down trees and know how they would fall, every single time.

I wasn't doing nothing at this time either mind you. Some time after I settled in I approached Dagaric about perhaps an apprenticeship to learn Black Smithing. He was thrilled that I found Veruna, but declined accepting me as an apprentice, he did show me the basics of smithing though. But he did tell me of another friend he knew who might have been able to help me.

Dagaric led me down across a cut stone bridge to a large building.

''Could you run this one though who exactly this Jurlian is again?'' I asked. ''Jurlian was another good friend of Evictous, we didn't see eye to eye all the time, but he is a good man. He has a meadery, brews ales and mead's and whatnot, and a damned good one too. I know he hasn't fathered any youth so he may be willing to apprentice you, if ya lucky of course.'' I think Dagaric sensed my timidness ''Don't worry lass, Jurlian is a friendly warm fellow, not necessarily to strangers but once you get to know one another I'm sure you'll both be fine.''

We reached a stone building with large heavy doors sealing it. He heaved it open and we stepped in. The door led us into a large room with towering brewing tanks. It was not well lit, a few candles lit the room dimly and a few tall stacks of books here and there stood near the edges of the room.

''Jurlian! You in her old friend!? It's me Dagaric! I have a young lass with me!'' Dagaric's voice echoed slightly and faded to the sounds of the liquid in the brewing tanks. ''What exactly do you want Dagaric?'' a disembodied voice echoed. Suddenly a short man appeared, the top of his head was bare and shiny, a common trait amongst older Breton men. He stood a few hairs taller than me and I was only nine years of age at the time. ''I came with this young lass to see if ya'd be willing to take her under yer wing.''

The man approached us ''And why would I want a little runt running around making a mess of things?'' ''Well...'' Dagaric rubbed his head. ''To tell ya why I have to break some exceptionally bad news to you. Remember how Evictous went down to Elswyr and decided to settle down?'' The short man crossed his arms ''Of course I do, decided to leave us all behind in exchange to walk around a sand pit the rest of his days, what of him?'' Dagaric softened and slowed his tone ''Well this youngling is all that's left of em.'' he motioned to me. The man's face froze in state, his mouth partly open and brow slightly crumpled. It stayed frozen as his head slowly turned to me and he studied the strange young Khajiit girl whom he never met. Then after some time he looked back at Dagaric who had the sad look of a dog on his face. They spoke a thousand words and no words at all at the same time. Finally his head slowly turned to look in between and beyond us as it if a trance, his face still frozen. ''Leave'' he finally said in a muttered high tone. He turned slowly and move like at the speed of a tortoise. Drifting back into his abode. ''Come on lass, lets get going'' Dagaric said in a low tone.

As we exited the Meadery I pulled the door closed behind us. ''Well that could have gone better.'' I said, addressing his negotiating skills. ''Don't worry lass, the man didn't say no, he is simply shocked at the loss of one of his oldest friend in this world, I was too when I first heard. Just give the man some time. I'm sure he'll accept.'' Dagaric said reassuringly. ''I hope your right.'' I said, unconvinced.

As I began walking home a storm rolled in. By the time I got home it was raining with ferocity. It rained hard all that night I remember, as I paced the floor wondering what type of profession I could get myself access to. Veruna and Reroy already taught me all I needed to know of how to be a successful lumber jack. The storm continued into the next day. At breakfast there was a knock on the door. It was to our surprise Jurlian, he declined when we invited him to come in from the storm, his robes thoroughly soaked and wet. ''I only came by to tell you that I'd be happy to take you on as my apprentice, be at the Meadery tomorrow at the break of dawn.'' He said hollering over the rain and thunder. He turned and quickly slopped his way through the mud and back to the road.

The next day I was at the Meadery a little before dawns break, the light glowing on the horizon, hinting of the suns approach. He didn't waste any time as he began teaching me of wart, mash, and musts. We didn't take any time to look over any of the things in the Meadery though, we went to the farm where he ordered his ingredients. He showed me how to tell if hops or something of the like was ready for harvesting and use. I didn't learn how make even wart until a few weeks later after he was sure I thoroughly understood what ingredients were what. I was surprised how he went out of his way to explain things, even at a loss for his business, taking long stretches of the day wandering the fields, neglecting to assist his sole employee Ky'ainden, a local Argonian, I didn't get to know him well but he was friendly enough. Dagaric also showed me a little bit of the blacksmith trade every so often, when he was kind enough to offer.

I discovered that Jurlian's books he collected and read were of great interest to me, contained in them were the basic's of the history of the world. The Aedra and Daedra, settling of Tamriel by the Elves, the enslaving of the humans that followed, the eruption of red mountain, high king Emrick, Tiber Septim, the Miricle of peace, the Oblivion crisis, I can go on. Jurlian opened up to a friendly face after a while, he allowed to read through his library.

One day he found me reading one of his favorite books. He took a seat and we began a hearty discussion of our fascinations with far off places. I saw him smile widely for the first time, his eyes sparkled with passion for the unknown. Then the thought crossed my mind, and my laughing seised and I turned over a serious note. ''Jurlian, what possessed Evictous to go to Elswyr?'' his smile faded at the notion as well, but he answered the question. ''Well me and Evictous would have conversations much like this one. We met at very young age, we drempt of far off lands and adventure. We would take to the woods and pretend we were in a far off landscape like Valenwood or so forth.

Thats why he became a traveling merchant, to see far off places. I traveled with him for a bit too, but at the encounter of some not so friendly wizards, my legs were mangled pretty good. He carried me to the nearest town and a mage saved my life. But at the cost of my height, she shrunk my legs so they could heal properly. That was it for me at that point, I cast away my adventuring days and settled down and started brewing like my mother did before me. But Evictous still seeked adventure, I didn't blame him and even encouraged him to go out and do so without me.

But when the great war came, the city was filled with young brave would be soldiers, they would be trained and sent off across the bay to Hammerfell where the Dominion invaded. Some would return, scarred and mangled, too injured to continue to fight. They were changed by the horrors of conflict. Some lost limbs, many lost themselves. The city would see these poor souls and grow resentment toward Elves and Khajiit. There was even a riot one summer when the legion made the mistake of transferring prisoners of war through the docks. People caught wind of this, overpowered the prison guards and strung the prisoners up around the city.

When that horrible war finally ended many still had resentment towards our former enemy, Dagaric especially. Evictous saw the shadow that now fell on high rock. He got it in his mind that people living under the dominion probably felt the same way. He decided he would try to build bridges and make himself some sort of amateur ambassador I guess, try and amend things so he headed off to Valenwood then to Elsweyr. He didn't have the money to write to his old friends regularly so I lost touch with him. I guess he stopped traveling when he found your family.''

My heart grew heavy at hearing this, a pause fell over us for a moment ''It cost him his life.'' I stated. ''Knowing Evictous, he probably wouldn't of had it any other way, he was stubborn about these kinds of things.''

What interested me the most was learning of far off lands such as Atmora or Akavir. But Skyrim interested me the most, I didn't understand why. Yes, geographically Skyrim is the province bordering High Rock, but the landscape of mountains make the travel to Skyrim from High Rock very long and exhausting, and most people can't afford to get passage by sea so it is far off.

Me and my curly haired Breton friend would socialize almost every afternoon, I would tell him of my lessons learned and one day he offered to teach me a bit of his skills in combat, naturally I obliged. We went to the practice area of his guild, he let me use one of his older pairs of practice armor, which he taught me how to fasten on. He first taught me a bit of hand to hand combat techniques, how to take and throw a good punch, and plant it just right. Then a bit of swords play. We challenged each others ranging skills. So forth, we got into a regular session of these, I certainly didn't learn all I know of fighting here, but it was a start.

One day I came home from practicing with my guild friends and found Veruna crying on the front stoop, her head in her hands. I ran through the trees to comfort her and figure out what the matter was.

She explained that during the day her and Reroy were going about their regular business when a posse of guards accompanied with Thalmor Justicars showed up on horseback. They carried an arrest warrant for Reroy for worshiping talos.

Fear shot through me at her words.

She had slowly taken the warrant from the thalmor's hands and was studying it worryingly when the thalmor justicar shoved her to the side and shouted ''THERE HE GOES!'' From the ground she turned and looked up the hillside to see Reroy running for his life. She screamed as they chased after him.

I leaned against the wall for balance as the world began spinning.

They pursued him into the woods chased him down, when the posse returned silently and alone she broke down to the ground and wept as they mounted their horses and rode off. I began to lose my breath, Veruna reached into her pocked and gave me a necklace, when I looked at it I discovered it was Reroys Talos amulet. My murdered family in the sand flashed before my eyes, then Reroy did too.

My blood ran hot, I felt a sense I had never fully felt before, I ran into the woods, I don't know why. I ran eraticly. I wanted to kill, I grabbed hold of a tree and began throwing punches into it. My fists turned red, the pain only fueled my hatred, I ran more, I ran so fast and so far away. I ran for so long, the mountains in the distance looked slightly closer. Finally my pace slowed and my legs trembled, I dropped to my knees and the thought of Reroy and his kindness filled my mind. And I screamed, so loud and long, with all my anger and energy I had left, I wouldn't doubt if Veruna heard me from our cottage. I looked to the sky that was streaked with shades of red and violet from the setting sun. During my wail, I was so swallowed in my mind my shout turned to a roar as if from a mighty beast. I felt as if I could square up and with one force take to the sky and shoot straight up, higher and higher, I felt as if I was in a trance but when I expended the air from my lungs I collapsed into a ball, seeing stars. I was confused as to where the deep roar came from. But my mind quickly fell back to my hatred to the Thalmor.

That night when I finally fell asleep I fell into a very deep sleep, like nothing I had experienced before. In the deep dream I walked along snow kissed woodlands. But they weren't of High Rock, the types of trees and fauna were different.

The types of pine were also types I had never seen before.

I walked along a stone path in fine armor, I was taller, the snow blew and I was the only soul on the path. Suddenly as I walked I saw something in the road, it was a sword, I picked it up and studied it closely. I was puzzled at the make, I knew enough from Dagaric that I could tell the style a blade was. I didn't know it at the time but the sword was of Akaviri make. Suddenly the sun stopped casting light for a moment and then returned. I dropped the sword and quickly spun to study the silent sky. It was empty, suddenly the ground trembled at the force of something hitting the forest floor. I turned in the direction of the disturbance and listened to the sound of something massive approaching. Then the creature broke into my sight, it was massive, it was as black as the night, it sported a long neck and horns, its eyes glowed with hell fire. But instead of becoming petrified at the sight of the ghastly horrifying creature, confidingly I became filled with courage and pride, and energy. I heard ancient chanting from an unknown source, I realized it was coming from my heart.

I unsheathed a weapon from my side and charged the monster and leaped into the air bringing the blow upon the beasts head with such force and ferocity, an amount of force that I have yet to obtain to this day, but very close. I awoke at the apex of the blow when it was to make contact. My eyelids gently opened and I was greeted to the view of my bedroom ceiling. It wouldn't be for another few years until I would see that mass again. Atop a guards tower in a Nordic town named Helen.

The following day I tried to go about my business as usual, but the anger within me festered. Jurlian could tell something was bothering me as I forgot a few rudimentary steps and ended up with a foul batch of wart, my days of making such mistakes were far behind me. I explained to him the loss of Reroy, his expressed sorrow and told me to take time to grieve and get myself straightened out, unless brewing beer all day helped. I put on my cowl hood and went for a walk through daggerfall.

I watched people go about their daily tasks, I felt removed as if I were a specter haunting them. I watched as I thought how any one of them could be condemned for simply worshiping Talos, which simply angered me at the injustice the thalmor could deal, even here. I find arguing about how the ending of the great war went even more foolish. I could understand why the empire bent to the thalmor's will with banning it, live to another day, but every one of us understand the circumstances, simply dwelling about it or fighting others for standing with, or against it is the task of idiots.

I watched one man who stood out in my mind, he collected crops from his garden. He lived a simple life, probably was born in the same house. I thought of how the rest of my life would play out similarly to his, blind to all the wrong in the world. I thought of how my life up to that point was of no point at all. I brewed alcohol, I socialized and chased boys around, and threw javelins and hunted for sport.

Not that my life was miserable, I had good friends and family. I enjoyed learning to be a brewer. I found my center whilst stalking through the forest. Lining an arrow up to a stag a fair distance away. I loved it all. Often I would go for hikes to the mountains. I would wake up as the sun set. Walk silently through the forest, I might stop and listen to the silence of the night, study the glow of the moon, study the wilderness around, usually being completely still, maybe climb a tree, stalk in the the shadows for no reason and with no intentions other than to stalk, that powerful subtle sense you get. Then after a long wonderful dream later I would reach the mountains. The hills would stop to one gradual slope that slowly grew in incline. Eventually the treeline would break, and give way to grass or unsteady rocky terrain. The ground turned horizontal as I would climb higher and higher. Amazed and excited there was yet even more to climb with every grip of the rock face. I would finally reach the top of a ridge, weak with exhaustion, but so satisfied with the amount of climbing that was offered to me. I'd sit on the bare ridge and taste the crisp mountain morning air while admiring the landscape that was shown before me, maybe pull out a bottle of ale I brought up. Watch as the sun played peek a boo over the horizon, the beauty as entire mountain range lit up as their opposite sides cast their shadows over the valleys below. Listen to the pure silence of the scene, only broken by the errie echoes of far off things that came from the valleys and forest below. An elk calling out for a mate, the wind blowing over the trees making the sound of leaves turn to a great green wave across the surface of the forest that spread to the horizon. Hearing everything as if my ears were the size of the mountains that detached from me and left me behind on that ridge, hovering over the forest, listening to its every twist and bend. Once I heard an entire conversation, it was so clear I even looked around to see if I was accompanied by someone. Brought up a good looking Breton with me a time or too as well.

I walked along the roads of daggerfall until I found myself at Dagaric's forge. He was selling at the market that day, but he had shown me enough Smithing that I was confident enough to do some work, he knew I was capable of making daggers at least and I figured he wouldn't mind me doing some work for him.

I pounded the steal into shape, making dagger after dagger. I felt the chance to expend some force was soothing. I must have made maybe a dozen daggers that afternoon. Eventually Dagaric returned to his forge to stash his earnings in his strongbox he hid there, he had a tall divider around the forge area to keep people out. I'd simply use my agility to climb over. I explained to him what had happened, he commended my workmanship ''Ya know thee Orc's hammer their emotions into their steel when they forge, said to make it better, by the looks of yer handywork I'd say that's about right. Your getting better lass.''

I left and went straight for the guild hall where my friends resided. I was much earlier that I usually would, but everyone knew me and I didn't bother anyone so no one cared. I sat in the main hall wondering where my friends were at the time. After some time had passed they returned to the hall, they were commending themselves and were in jubilation, not noticing me at first. Upon approaching they greeted me, confused as to why I had come so early, I didn't want to burst their bubble so I dodged the question and asked where they had been. They explained that they had gone to a local cave that had some trouble with a necromancer possessing the corpses of dead animals and attacking local farmers in their fields. They had gone and killed the reanimated animals but the necromancer was nowhere to be found.

After some rabble I explained my strangly early arrival. They were shocked and as angry as I was. ''Those Thalmor should be strung up by the feet and dragged through an animal pen.'' one of them said as she spit on the ground. An elder member approached us whom had been listening to our conversation. ''Watch where you speak like that. The Thalmor have ears everywhere. If you don't watch yourselves you may join him.'' The elder was highly respected among the guild. He was a seasoned adventurer, his well build armor was seasoned with battle scars. ''I'm not pitching my blade down on either side, but head the warnings of the dead and keep out of the way of the Thalmor. You're all young and strong, but that wouldn't make a lick of difference to them. Expel your anger into your work.'' He motioned to me ''You, Zeicuana correct? I've seen you practice here for years, you're green, but you have a fire in your eyes girl. Why don't you pick up a weapon and head out with your friends on their next outing. Gotta get that anger out somehow, Akatosh knows I would need to.''

My friends all agreed, I did as well. That night we learned of the location of a cave that the Necromancer that reanimated the animals was seen entering. My curly haired breton friend gave me a pair of armor, and I retrieved my bow from the cabin. Veruna was hesitant about allowing me to partake in hunting down a malicious necromancer. I put up an argument, which was mostly uncharacteristic for our lives together. I suppose she saw that I was trying to get over the loss of Reroy and she let me go. She was still trying to cope with it herself  
We went to the farmers house and the old couple led us to the cave. Rambling in spite about how in their day adventurers would go into a cave infested with spiders with nothing but an axe and an anti venom potion.

We formed a spread line as we squeezed past tight passages and gathered in a wedge formation at wider caverns. Shield and sword ready. I was at an advantage because my eyes adjusted much better to the darkness then my friends, but gave off a bit of a glow. This glow mush have caught the attention of our adversary because we heard the sound of running feet ahead of us. Naturally I wanted to charge ahead but my friends stopped me. ''No sense running to your death.'' It was at that moment I realized how dangerous our little escapade was. We weren't playing some game. There was a crazed Wizzard somewhere in here with us. We went for some more and I became curious of the architecture of the large rooms we were walking through and asked of their purposes. ''Wait... Zeicuana what does the architecture look like? I've thought we were walking through a cave this entire time.'' I darted my eyes around the chamber ''Well there are arching ceilings, the walls are lined with long stone shelves, this place some sort of storage-'' I was cut off. ''Waitaminute, Stone shelves!?'' ''Oh, Mara we've walked into a burial crypt.'' another said. At that moment we were be-fronted with skeletons with old dull weapons and shields. They took to fighting. I looked around and made an eye to eye socket connection with a skeleton, I stared into the back of its empty sockets for what felt like an hour but must have been more of a split moment. It charged me and I brought my shield up in time to befront his strike, it was at that moment the realization popped to me ''This isn't some sparring match, this thing is trying to end me.'' I took a few more blows to the sheild before working up the moxy to bring it down and strike the skeleton. I took out a few rotten rib cage bones and they snapped and flew out. The skeleton, unfazed struck me in the shoulder. It gave me a rush and with another blow I took off its skull, It swung again and I blunted its blow with my shield, I swung one last time and the skeleton crumbled beneath my blow. I looked around to assist my companions but discovered they had defeated their foes as well. I saw the necromancer dash from a hiding spot down a hall which my companions lacked sight of because of their vision impairment. I relayed to my friends and we per sued him down the corridors.

He made a turn around a corner and when I turned it I saw the blinding light to a secret exit of the caverns. We jumped through and landed in the tall grass of a meadow some ten or so feet below. I just managed to see the Wizzard disappear beyond the tree line and beckoned to his location. We ran after him and spread out amongst the trees to find him.

I found myself approaching a narrow river. I slowed my pace and crept, scanning the wild grass ahead of me. Suddenly the Wizzard emerged in a full sprint away from me. I took per suit, he dove into the water, I quickly stripped my armor as to not drown, which afforded him a few moments. When he didn't immediately surface I payed no attention, dismissing it as a foolish attempt to thwart me. I dove in, sporting my dagger in my mouth, the same Dagaric gave me. I pierced the surface of the river and looked hard through the murky water. I discovered the Wizzard was down below, but not alone. Around him were what looked like two naked women pulling him down and he didn't seem to happy about it.

He thrashed against their grips. I studied them closely for a moment, then I noticed how the woman's hands were large and claw-like then I finally realized their bottom halves were of serpent nature. It was then that I realized that these were not woman but Lamias. I took one big stroke to send myself to the surface but at that moment I felt a grip on my ankle and I was immediately dragged down another five or so feet. I looked down to see the tail of a Lamia stroking hard to drag me to my death. I grabbed the thrashing tail and began stabbing it relentlessly. The Lamia turned around to greet my eyes with its passionless gaze, it quickly released my ankle and swam up to wrap its grip around my neck. Its grip was so strong I though I would meet my end there. But I fought on, even though I felt it would be fruitless. I slashed my blade and claws ferociously. The water around us turned to bubbles but finally through the struggle I made a solid plant of my dagger through the creatures eye socket. The Lamia began thrashing wildly from the pain, I took the opportunity to wrestle from its grips and kicked it away from me, I darted my eyes down only for the shortest moment to find the Lamia's far below had finished the necromancer and were now swimming up to assist their brethren.

I made a wild go for the surface as my lungs ached painfully for being below so long. I expended my lungs as I was still below the surface. I broke to the air and gasped for breath and began swimming with all my might for the shore, my arms and legs burned with exhaustion but I denied the option of becoming the snack of some underwater hussies and pushed through. I began to feel mud below my toes with every kick but I could sense the monsters right behind me. My feet made contact with the floor of the river and I began wildly scrambling but my feet sunk into the mud with every stride. I felt a claw brush my ankle, reaching for it and I dove at the shore in desperation. I was now on my belly scrambling to fully emerge myself from the water but a pair of claws gripped my leg like steal.

I screamed and dragged myself from the water, then another pair grabbed my other leg. Suddenly the force doubled and they began to make fast gains on catching their prey. I began sliding back into the water, having lost all mechanical advantage. I thrashed my arms around trying to find an object at the shore that would magically make me escape. I found the grip of my sword and in one motion twisted around to swing the blade upon the Lamia's grip. And by some miricle planted my strike right upon the forearm of one of the Lamia's and chopped it off in one blow. The creature fell back beneath the surface and I gained back my grip on the land I began pushing up it. I began to drag the last Lamia out of the water, The creatures brunette hair hiding her motionless face partially. I pulled my self away from the edge of the water more and more and the Lamia became less and less able to find leverage. Finally the creature found itself out of its water, it released its grip on me and made for the water but I wanted none of it. I stood myself up and began to stab at the Lamia. It didn't try to fight me, only wishing to return to its home, I was so exhausted it was a fruitless effort and the monster slid back beneath the surface. I saw another Lamia emerge out in the center of the river. The creature just stared at me, the meal that got away. It screamed suddenly and threw my dagger at me, I flinched at the sudden projectile coming at me and by chance, deflected it with my sword.

I turned around, gave a safe pace away and collapsed upon the meadow, panting and exhausted. I spotted my friends running down the hill to come to my aid, hearing my scream. To my surprise, when they approached they had smiles on their faces. ''What happened Zeicuana?'' They said warmly. I was puzzled at their reactions, then I realized I was smiling uncontrollably, I then realized how hard my heart was pumping, the energy that rushed through me, I had never felt so good. They truly had no idea what I had just been through, they later told how they thought I had laughingly fallen off the steep face of the bank on the other side of the river to the water below.

It was at that moment I was hooked, I wanted to do nothing but be in the dance between life and the end of life. I began going out with them regularly on other similar tasks. I never felt so alive than when I felt so close to death. I have, to this day been fixated on adventure. Every close call is like a great celebration. Like when I manage to fend off and defeat skooma crazed bandits alone in the forest. As I stand over their corpses, my wounds screaming with pain, it is like the whole world is congratulating you on your success. The trees wave in jubilation, the rustling of leaves are screaming and adoring fans, glad you are there the rays of sun warm your face and it feels so good, if it was another day the rays would be there but they would mean nothing to you. But this time you've earned them, you've bought them with your will to survive. You're earned right to leave that blood stained patch of forest floor, or that red snow bank, all on your own feet, down to a village, and to have a drink on a comfortable hard wood bench while you know those madmen are still at that bloodied piece of ground. They tried to kill you and they aren't going anywhere.

It was perhaps a month later, I was sitting alone in the local tavern, it was dusk and my friends had taken off. I sat alone, absorbed in my thoughts as I lazily looked about the shelf. For some reason a voice popped out to me amoungst the rambling. I didn't turn around but I listened to it closely, I don't know why. I don't think I even knew why at the time but I could tell it was a khajiit woman, there were no khajiit that lived close by or whom frequented the tavern other than me and I began to feel curious as to what she was doing there. I could tell by the slight difference in tone she was sitting alone at the far corner of the room, away from any notice by the other locals.

Another person came and sat with her. ''when does the morning come?'' the high elf asked. ''gradually yesterday'' the khajiit said. It was at that moment I realized they were thalmor observers, but I shown no response, nor an inner response, as if I already knew. These were the people who listened and probed to find talos worshippers. I took a swig of my drink and chatted up the good looking Breton beside me. We knew each other quite well. I heard as the high elf stood and left. I took some paper and bregan drawing the lay of the roads around the tavern. I put an X in a secluded back alley.

The Breton decided to retire for the evening but I declined the offer to join. The Breton left and I thought to myself. I thought of how I had learned from the guild of how the Thalmor had assigned agents who acted within a certian area. But would swap out spies regularly to avoid detection by the population, just another traveler.

I thought of Reroy, his sweet kindness, his deep laugh, his glow, his bloodied twisted corpse in the woods. Then I though of the khajiit woman, whom I passed on my way back home the afternoon Reroy was killed. The only khajiit I had ever seen in my neck of the woods. How she didn't look at me when I passed her. Her look of deep centering of herself, I must of seen her face for just a moment but it stuck out. It was the same centering I found when I would line up an arrow to the heart of an elk I stalked in the woods, unaware I exsisted. Then I took another swig of my drink, set it down. I took one more breath, full of subtle excitement, Then I stood up, and followed the woman out of the tavern.

I walked down another street that ran in the same direction of the one she walked on, she was much older than me, middle aged. She acted warm and tipsy going down the street. I made haste down my street to get ahead of her, she was still around a bend when I reached the intersection the road she was on passed through. I made haste to the other side of the street and ducked around the corner. I saw a basket the owners of the house there had left out, I quickly grabbed it and picked from their garden and filled the small basket with flowers. I stood around the corner a bit. I heard her as she approached, her unsteady pace shifted a bit right before she reached the corner, detected my presence no doubt. But all she would detect would be a young woman holding a basket of flowers.

She continued on to the corner where I stepped out and bumped into her, spilling the flowers everywhere. I quickly bent over to collect them. She assisted, I looked at her and apologized, acting as a young fool. We rabbled for a bit about stupid nonsense as we collected the flowers. I grew a little anxious my opportunity wouldn't come. Then finally she asked ''Heey yoour the best say, This one's a bit out of their mind. Lost track of the passing of time, when does the morning come?'' I pulled up her dress a bit and tucked the folded piece of paper into her boot. ''It came gradually yesterday.'' I said to her, with that I stood up and left her.

I walked down the streets to the location I marked on the crude map. I thought of how maybe I should have followed the woman instead of aproaching her, she could simply not show up, she then have my mark. But I dismissed it as her cunning would have thwarted my pursuit.

I reached the mark on the paper and continued past it. It was an alley which backed up to the forest. I stood a bit down from the mark, time passed slowly as I grew fear that she may not show. Then finally I heard her foot steps. Steady this time, but they sounded heavy, as if from a heafty man. Only if you listened closely with a keen ear that you could distinguish that it was her only at a disguised pace and loft. I emerged from my shadow and waited for her to reach me. ''Have you lost your mind?'' she scolded ''When I received word saying my replacement would be a little slow I didn't realized she would be so reckless as to not follow procedure'' I came to the recollection that by blind luck I had not only detected the thalmor woman, but her replacement would contact her that same night. I beat her to it though. ''Please spare this one'' I said ''These locals are so gullible that a giant dressed as a thane could stroll right into daggerfall castle'' she retorted. ''That does not mean you break procedure, that trick you pulled could have blown both of us right there if the owner of those flowers heard us.'' "your one to speak'' I returned ''You were detected and you didn't even realize who the dead fool was.'' her brow crumpled ''You make such a claim?! I have heard no word of this, by whom are you speaking?'' with all my pent up anger and energy I sent a hay maker into the khajiit's face, she was caught completely off guard and landed flat on her back in the street, her feet above her head. Instantly from the position of the ground she took off to the forest as I raced after her. The moon glowed and illuminated the area as we darted through the shadows of the trees. I dodged the branches she wound back as she passed them sending them bounding back in an attempt to strike me. She ran in random direcions but I knew every tree, every stump, every hole. She doubled back thinking I would loose her trail but she was mistaken, her mistake cost her much needed ground.

She ran for her life as I was just a breath behind her. I made my predictions and desired mark, for the ditch ahead. I leaned my shoulders down like a bull making a charge, and lept onto the womans back, my claws sinking into her sides as I brought her down into the mud. suddenly I felt the same anger I felt the moment I learned of Reroys death, my anger of my family in Elsweyr being taken from me, it all came to the surface and exploded into my strikes on the thalmors face and body. I beat her with more strength than I was aware I had, the strength I was given when I nearly drowned swimming to the shores of daggerfall, the same strength when I ran through the forest.

The khajiit tried all her best to block and she even got a few swings in herself, but the more I beat her, the more I became angered. Her strength withered a little more under every punch, her fur became matted with blood, I broke some of her ribs and screamed ''YOU KILLED HIM, YOU KILLED MY FAMILY, YOU KILLED EVERYBODY!'' I stood above her weakened body and began stomping on her. Her bones snapped under my feet. Finally I stopped my assault when I was sure she wasn't going anywhere, I drew Evictouses dagger and held it, ready to strike. I panted with anger, she wheezed unsteadily. ''Do you know who I am?'' I asked the khajiit. She stared into my eyes full of hatred and searched her mind a moment. Then she began to chuckle, her grin showing her bloodied teeth ''I know who you are.'' I was taken off guard by her answer.

''You're Zeicuana from Elsweyr, when you were the age of eight your whore family was given their deserved deaths for being whores of the empire.'' I looked at her shocked. ''You're living here with the sister of your dead second father, Evictous, you ran like the animal you are all the way here. My only regret is that I was not there to personally help with the nullifying of the ones who share your blood. Live out in that cabin off the road a bit. A bit of a hard one to spot through those trees.''

''How do you know this?'' I questioned

''Do you really think we wouldn't find where you went? Upon finding that you weaseled your way from the end of your cursed exsistance in Elswyer we sent out notices to all of us in Tamriel to look out for you, as procedure. You were spotted in Chorrol, if you had been at that hole of an orphanage for a few hours longer, your suffering would have ended. But you took off with those traders. When they finally trapped them you were nowhere to be seen. I hope you didn't care about them, oh how this one heard of the pleads they made for their suffering to end. Except for that orc, tough one he was, heard they butchered him first.'' I gripped my dagger tighter ''stop... right now'' I growled. She chuckled weakly ''You really think we wouldn't watch that Veruna? The only chance in this world you had left? We knew you were here from the start. The Dominion was only foolish enough to deem you a low threat, threw you in along with the rest of the no name low threats out here. Oh ho ho, but when they find what you did...'' she chuckled ''everyone who you ever came within ten paces of will be extinguished.'' she chuckled then retracted from the pain of her ribs.

''Oh really?'' I lowered my dagger, ''let me tell you what the rest of your short life will entail. I won't kill you here oh no. I have a certain pull too. You see I'm a member of a guild here. This guild you see knows exactly what to do with thalmor like yourself. I have some friends there but there are some pretty dark members there too. They are regularly employeed to the daggerfall dungons, to extract information when needed, they just know how to break bones and tear muscles in the right way to yield the most pain. But these people aren't amatures you see, oh no, they know how to keep people alive. Even when they are so close, begging for the torment to end. They know just how much restoration to cast while keeping one at the apex of possible pain and not escape it. They'll break your bones, only to heal them wrong and break them again. Twist and rip your toes off, bit by bit. They'll ravage you, over and over again, They'll tear you apart and put you back wrong, but just enough, for you to stay here to endure every moment of it. When they've done every tehchnique they know how to do amoungst them, they'll shove what used to be you into the wall, you will still be of this realm, and still writhing in misery, at the physical destruction you will endure, and still you will just hang on, They'll fasten a new wall bearing over your tomb, with just enough air entering to keep you gasping for breath, they'll fill your tight dark space with honey and just enough for you to have barely enough to breath, but you will hang on. You'll be so desperate for sustinance that you'll eat the same honey you bathe in, you'll grow sick, and make the honey quite putrid. Bugs will come, if they hadn't come already from the festering gashes and infections you will have already been given, they'll slowly eat you, from the inside, out. Then as you feel your heart race faster and faster at the panic of your end, you will think of me and of the ones I loved you thalmor took, then you'll think of all the others you've taken. And then as you try to relize the error of your ways you will wonder how you ended up in an unmarked hole in the wall in the deepest parts of a dungon so far from home, then you will die, your question unanswered. And you will stay in that wall, the bugs will eat you down to the bone, and life will go on, and no one will remember you even exsisted.''

I climbed off of her and sheathed my dagger, thinking of how to transport my new friend.

''I don't think so'' I heard her call, I turned around to see her holding a bottle to her lips. I slapped the poison from her clutch but it was too late. She spasmed wildly, she gargled her blood as I heard a hissing sound, her eyes began to bulge, bigger and bigger, until her eyes were literally bulging from her sockets, then they popped in a mist of blood. Her spasming stopped, and she went limp, dead, but her body kept moving, vibrating and sizzeling unnaturally. Steam rose from her as I began to see her ribs. I quickly took to trying to search her body, but it was burning hot to the touch. Soon after some moments she was just fur and bone.

I twisted around the forest, trying to search in my mind of what to do. I had reached a point of no return. I felt as if I was dangling from a mile high cliff and I just let go, falling further and further down the void. Twisting and flailing, trying to find something to grip to which I knew would not be there. How much of what the khajiit said was bluff? What was I to do?


	7. Skeletons from the closet (chapter 7)

My blood drained down to my toes. The silence of the forest was deafening, my thoughts turned to Veruna. The images of my dead parents flashed in my mind, my ears started buzzing. I couldn't stop my mind from rushing. I was in no state to give for thought as what to do. Where should I go? Was I tailed? Was I sure?

I lowered myself to my knees and took deep breaths. Was there anyone who had been in a situation like this before? And just like that it came to me, my Elf friend Antherio from the summerset isles. I bounded from the ground and ran in a straight line back to town. I zigzagged from alleys, climbed roofs, and bounded through the street. And after a fear induced journey I found myself down the street from his house, heaving in air and matted in sweat.

I slipped into a nook between two houses and shimmied to the roof, then rushed on all fours as quietly as I could to his roof. I reached over the overhang and tapped on the glass of his window. He opened the shutters and peered down to the path below. As I whispered his name he was startled to find my face hovering above him. I hung over the edge and climbed in.

After I calmly retold him my story we both milled over and before speaking, knew we would have to go to the guild for help. If anyone could get me out of my situation like this, it was them.

they go and assemble her friends at the guild hall My elven friend Antherio went off to retrieve more of our group and I made for the guild hall. I slipped through an open window as not to be seen by any followers. I came to find the elder sharing a drink with some of the older members of the guild. I entered the chamber and they were surprised to see me at such an hour. When the wiser elder saw the look in my eyes he knew something was amiss and when I asked him to speak with me in the other room as I needed the guilds help he looked to his friends around him. ''If there is help you need from the guild you'll have to tell all of us.'' The crowded room fixated on me with anticipation, their joyous spirits not fading. To my surprise, as I explained my situation they did not fall to dis pare, but instead pulled within themselves and assessed the situation, not putting their drinks down, or their spirits.

''Eye that's quite the conundrum you have there, didn't knew you had it in you girl.'' said one Breton. They casually debated back and forth of what must be done. Becoming more serious as they weighed the thalmor influence with the Daggerfall government. Many were part of the local guard as their living.

I don't want to discuss more details on fears that the thalmor may use the information to find those who helped me, but they concluded that they had most likely would figured out it was me who killed the spy if they didn't already. But if we were to suddenly act uncharacteristic of myself it may cause my demise.

So, I was to continue living as if nothing had happened and wait for them to make the first move. Very brazen considering who we were facing. My other friends had arrived during the discussion and were put on a mission to aquire details of thalmor activities in our land from Daggerfall castle.

I spent the night there in the guild hall. One friend of mine, an Argonian, volunteered to keep me company whilst everyone retired for the night. I dreampt of her evil and arrogant smile as she laid there in the dirt. Looking at me like how a hungry frog looks at a fly.

I awoke with a sharp breath and tightened muscles. I walked home in complete silence, the brisk morning air accompanied by early morning frost and landscape that seemed drained of color. My only thought being of Veruna. I for a moment imagined her being dragged away by the thalmor, only to suffer a fate such as my mother, brother, grandmother and father. My courage sank but I pushed the notion out of my head.

I arrived to Veruna eating her morning breakfast. She was no more upset or puzzled as to where I had been as she assumed I had too much to drink and stayed the night at a friends house, which I didn't do very often but partook on occasion.

I fixed some eggs as there would probably be no mood to fix them after I filled her in, and sat with her. She was her sweet self, always resilient and never one to be bitter. But I simply sat with her, I didn't want to ruin the moment. A moment like and unlike any other we shared. She could tell there was something on my mind, but no idea of the magnitude of what I had for her. I slowly explained the situation for her. Her smile ran away and she looked at me like a deer that just caught wind of her hunter. It was about to become thick in that room which was uncharacteristic of our relationship and I tried to excuse myself to go off to Jurlian to help brew, she protested but I insisted. I stood and made for the door. ''Zeicuana don't you walk out that goddamned door!'' She hissed.

I was caught dead in my tracks, Veruna had never raised her voice at me, let alone swear. I turned to face her. I looked at my dear Veruna before me. I now had a few inches on her, I could see rage filling her eyes which I had never seen and it terrified me.

"I have lost my brother, and I have lost my best friend... I'm not going to loose you too! Ever since Reroy died you've changed. You don't help me with weaving, you're colder, all you care about is going down to that damn guild hall and hitting a dummy with a wooden sword... But the world doesn't fight with wooden swords... and the world doesn't let you get back up!"

She was on the verge of tears but her anger prevented her from breaking down.

"And now you've gone and killed one of them... your a fool! Now they are gonna take you too and what will I have then?! More family to bury in the ground!"

I myself was on the verge of tears, I felt like I would drop to the floor and grovel at her feet and tell that I loved her but I kept myself.

''I won't let them hurt you."

"I don't care about myself I care about you!" she shouted.

She stood there for a moment a look of bewilderment on her face, I could think of nothing to say, the seconds drew out like a knife. Finally I retreated from our Cabin with a brisk pace, as I took two steps away from the door I could hear Veruna break down inside. But I was cold inside, and I could see the truth in what she had said.

I took to Jurlians brewery to go about and act normal. I came in and took to preparing a new batch of wart. A few hours later when I saw Jurlian and Ky'ainden take to have their lunch. I sat with them and explained the situation.

After the whole shock of it all, Ky'ainden whom seldom spoke told of one of his friends whom would be willing to help. He was another Argonian who lived alone northeast of Camlarn on the northern coast and was a fisherman for a living.

I thanked him for the possibility but I wasn't about to abandon home just yet.

That night I went to the guild hall again to assemble with my companions. My friends had discovered that there were only a few thalmor agents operating in the area and that they were low ranking members on the outskirts of thalmor influence but it would not take long until they begun sweeping the area of low threats in retaliation of the death of one of their agents. My friends and the guild agreed to prepare to watch over me and others from an attack most likely to occur within the week.

Four nights later I was in the inn playing music with Veruna. I strummed my bouzouki but my mind was not on the melody, not that it showed. I could tell Veruna was the same, we were both worried about each other. She did not look at me, fixing her eyes on the tavern before us. I studied the back of her head, some white hairs had come to her over all the years since I had been with her. She was older, taking care of the daughter she had never been able to have. She truly did love me, and I loved her. She was my only family I had in the world. But I could feel the winds changing, and I knew our time to depart was fast approaching, I suspected she felt it too. My mind then was consumed again by the thalmor.

The next night I sat alone at the tavern, enjoying my regular when I heard two voices which I didn't recognize. I thought for a moment to not look, then the thought came that maybe they would notice I was purposely not staring into the beasts eyes. So, I took a deep breath and casually observed my surroundings suspiciously and found two high elves staring at me intently from the corner. My eyes lingered on them for a moment naturally, as would anyone. They averted their gaze to the bar then back to themselves. Low ranking newcomers indeed.

I returned to my drink and listened as a few minutes later they left swiftly.

There I sat at my bar. I had sat there a large portion at my life, so careless. So many memories with friends, innocent and happy. Now my height protruded over the counter, I had matured physically. I was no longer the half starved child from all those years ago. And now death was tugging at my shoulder.

I sat alone and cold for a moment, then that high I felt when I fought the Lamia came to me. I no longer felt the same as a dead man, I felt more alive then ever. The rush of the wish to continue came to me and it was a very inebriating feeling, it felt wonderful. Then the thought of my enemies came and it turned to a burning rage. These bastards wanted to end me? I'd end every one of them if they dare try. I had the skill, I had good friends and I wasn't about to fail.

An arrogant smirk came to me, and I held back a chuckle. I was insane I thought to myself. I sat there and enjoyed my drink. The tavern seemed different after that moment somehow.

Another hour rolled by, and after the two agents left I departed about ten minutes later. I walked naturally. I walked casual but alert, waiting for the arrow that would take me but it never came. I went down the road to my home, it was pitch black that night as the moon was absent and only the glow of the stars shown in the sky. I listened to the sound of my footsteps and the deaf forest around me.

Then as I was no less than a mile from my home I heard someone whisper my name. I slowly stopped and readied myself and turned to the direction it came. Then I realized it was my friend in the brush. I rushed and squatted in the tall grass with him. It was then that I realized I was surrounded by a brotherhood of guild members and town guard. I had much to improve on my perception I thought.

My curly haired Breton explained no more that five minutes ago a group of about fourteen high elves passed by dressed plainly, no doubt headed for Veruna. My blood ran cold and I said that we must save her. He reassured me that they sent a tangent up to the cottage to retrieve Veruna, but if we were to stop their terror we would ambush them there.

We crept through the forest and then I saw the glow of the giant torch that was our cottage broke from the trees ahead. Images of my mother, father, my brother, and my grandmother filled my mind then of veruna. My stomach twisted, "she's safe I promise" my friend whispered. I pushed my thoughts to the side and continued. Focused on our target.

As we approached a bit away from the clearing, half of our number broke off and circled around to the opposite side of the clearing. The agents stood around the cottage, focused of casting flames onto my home. After we were sure everyone was in position and my curly haired Breton friend handed me a sword someone shot the first arrows and two elves crumpled to the grass. Some of the thalmor didn't even notice initially.

We burst from the treeline and ripped into them. It was probably over in less than ten seconds but it felt longer. As I rushed at the elf turned abreast of me he noticed after I had closed half the distance. He shot me in the chest with a bolt of lightening. My vision turned blurry it was so painful but I filled with rage. I roared as I continued to charge him, he panicked and I had him. I plunged the blade so deep into his rips. My goodness the heat from the inferno was raidient and intense. I pulled it out and as he somehow still stood he tried to cast one more shock on me but it came as a tingle. I raised my sword high and cleaved in diagonally at his neck and there he fell.

There we stood surrounded by our dead adversary, victorious. I began to shout out for Veruna, a moment later she appeared and we held onto each other she cried deeply and I fought tears. She was safe and I simply tried to slow my breathing.

One of the wiser older members came to us, and elaborated that word shouldn't have spread to the rest of the thalmor as they intercepted the messenger. But they would come looking to where their agents went. We left to Reroy's old cottage and out posse went their way. Me and Veruna shared the bed.

We stayed there for for a week and I decided to take Ky'aiden up on his offer of help. I would miss my home but staying would risk everyone around me.

I told Veruna and she reluctantly accepted my decision. If I left it could be said that I died in the fire and they would have no reason to come looking. I went to the brewery and found Jurlian and Ky'iaiden there. Kyiaiden gave me a sealed written letter to give to his friend Qiurz-rehy. I was anxious about leaving my apprenticeship of brewing before I was finished. Jurlian told me I had learned most of what there was to know. I had only not been taught the most rare of brews from around Tamriel, such as some Argonian ales. It was quite difficult to take a final look around the brewery.

I went to the guild and to my friends and companions I owed my life to. They promised they would check on Veruna from time to time.

To shorten the pain, the next morning I left. Veruna and I shared one last breakfast, I packed one of Reroys sacks and said goodbye. She led me to the path and walked with me to a fork in the road a mile and a half up. We hugged tightly and she saw me off.

My heart was heavy for the next two days, then after I passed twice the distance I had ever been from home, I preyed and focused on the task at hand.

The path was long as it was beautiful, the rolling hills and the smells of late summer complimented each other. The sound of sequoias and the call of ##### were the melody of the country. I reminisced of my days when I walked all the way across the continent to high rock. I felt as though I had lost the strength of that little cat that I was then. I wondered why, and resolved to gain that feeling back.


End file.
